Page 24 of A Game Of Love

“I’m fine,” I mutter, turning around to walk over to my bed and sit down on it’s edge. Leaning forward, I put all my weight on my thighs and let my head hang forward.

“No. You're not.” She knows me too damn well sometimes.

“No. I’m not,” I repeat, lifting my head to look up at her with exhausted eyes. “I’m tired. I’m tired of always being upset, for getting angry at every little thing. Life can’t always go my way, I know that. But when my brain thinks a certain way, it’s not easy to shut down those thoughts. I lose control of my own mind, and I hate it. I hate me.”

Her face softens. Biting her lip, she makes her way over to me. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” she scolds, her voice insistent. “You might hate yourself right now, but I don’t. I love you. I’ll always love you, Toby. I don’t like seeing you like this... seeing you hurt.”

The next moment her fingers touch my face, cupping it as she looks down at me like I’m her everything, like she wants to bundle me up into her arms and keep me forever. I’m a goner. But I’m always a goner for this girl. One look from her, and I’m ready to hand everything over. “You shouldn’t love me,” I rasp. “I’m no good for you. All I do is hurt you.”

“Then stop,” she says simply.

“I’m trying.” I close my eyes, leaning into her touch. I don’t want her to ever let go of me. “I’m really trying, Lilly. But fuck, it’s so damn hard. I thought I was doing good. But then tonight...” I open my eyes, shame filling them as I look up at her. “I’ve never wanted to hit my best friend before. Seeing himkiss you like that, saying those words to you...” I shake my head, closing my eyes again as I grit my teeth. “It’s like everything I’ve been working so hard to keep at bay came crashing back in. I know I need to accept it if I want to be with you. And I do, so fucking bad, but—”

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” she says, interrupting me.

My eyes open as I sit up, brows furrowing. “What do you have to be sorry about? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t take your feelings into consideration by telling the family about Bishop like I did. But I don’t plan on hiding what I have with him. I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t. It will physically hurt me to keep pushing my wants and needs down for the sake of others.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lilly.” My voice breaks because I feel gutted.

“I know you don’t.” She smiles down at me, brushing her thumb against my cheek. “And I believe you won’t. Not like you have before. Because I have faith in you, Tobias Munro, even if you can’t seem to find it for yourself right now. I have enough for the both of us.”

This woman... This fucking woman is amazing, and I do not deserve her one bit. But I will never be able to let her go. Who was I kidding thinking I ever could?

“That’s why, for now, when you're around, we’re going to respect your feelings. No PDA. Just best friends like we’ve always been.”

I groan. “You shouldn’t have to do that. Not for me.”

“I don’t have to do anything, Toby.” She laughs, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair.

Fuck. That feels so damn good. I shiver as her nails scrape against my scalp, and I practically purr like a cat, enjoying her touch. “I want to at least give you the time to get used to the idea. We shouldn’t be shoving it in your face anyways.”

“I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too.” She licks her lips, eyes flicking between mine.

I want her so fucking badly it hurts to breathe.

She sucks in a breath as I grip her hips, pulling her towards me. She comes willingly and stands between my legs.

“I miss you.” My head is tilted all the way back now to look up at her.

“I miss you too,” she whispers softly, her hands continuing to play with my hair.

It feels so damn good I could cum from her touch alone. My cock strains against my jeans, demanding to be inside her again.

As fucked up as that night in the locker room was, I can’t stop thinking about how it felt to have my cock buried deep inside her, to have her pussy trembling around my length as she came so damn perfectly for me. I want that again; I need to hear her sweet sounds of pleasure.

I took her damn virginity like a beast. She deserved better than that. If I knew, I wouldn't have done it. That much I know, even though I felt like another person was controlling me. Deep down, I would have known taking something that important from her in a moment like that wasn’t right.

Even with all that said, every second that my lips were on her skin, my hands roaming her body, and her core gripping my length was pure bliss. The best drug I could ever have taken.

“Have you been getting my flowers?” I know it’s lame, she deserves more. And I plan on doing a hell of a lot more to make up for my mistakes. This week has been rough, but I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing.

She laughs, soft and musical. It makes my damn heart sing. “Yes.” She smiles down at me. “All of them. As beautiful as they are, I could only keep so many in the room without driving Bee nuts. So I’ve planted some in the garden out back of the house.”

“Really?” My brows shoot up. “Why not just toss them?”

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