Page 68 of Dagger

“I see she gets it,” John murmured to himself.

“Hard not to,” I replied gently. “Your dad had his own way of doing things, but for him, family always came first. Bandit wouldn’t have shot your boys; he probably would’ve clapped them on the back and got them a beer for being studs.”

“And that’s the problem,” John explained. “My dad believed the Demons could do what they wanted with no consequences. It affected me and my boys and didn’t do us any favors whatso-fuckin’-ever. My boys learned their lessons with the help of their women. I had to learn mine alone, but one day, I hope you reap the benefits. Not sayin’ I’m perfect, Leesy, ‘cause I’m far from it. I make mistakes, huge ones, but at least now, I learn from them and take responsibility. Can’t say I did when I was twenty-one, when I left you behind to go conquer the world. It took losing you to see that I wasn’t always honest and respectful. Not blaming my dad—I was my own man after all—but when you grow up amongst men who think they can do what the fuck they want with no comeback—especially with their women—it tends to rub off.”

I studied John, thinking back to when we were together.

It was true, he only thought of himself and to hell with the consequences. Looking back, it was easy to see he was as mucha product of his environment as I was, an environment that later extended to his sons.

John standing before me, talking about his shortcomings, was something I never thought I’d see. In the past, he swept anything that made him uncomfortable under the rug, especially when it came to me.

He’d not only grown, but he also trusted me enough to be vulnerable with me, and I had to admit, I liked it a lot. I’d always loved him regardless of his shortcomings, but now I was seeing the new and improved version. If I were honest with myself, I’d noticed it already, but I just didn’t want to admit it. How could I hold on to my anger, not get emotionally invested, and keep my heart safe if I warmed to him?

John jutted his chin toward the door. “You ready to go out there?”

No.Out there is your ex-wife and a daughter who’s a momma’s girl. I’ve been happy in my bubble since I’ve been here, and I’m not ready for it to burst just yet.

But I kept my inner thoughts to myself and nodded amiably.

John offered me his arm.

I looked at it, dazed.

“Won’t bite, Leesy,” he rumbled before muttering under his breath, “Not unless you ask.”

I rolled my eyes, and then I placed my hand on John’s arm and let him lead me through the door and down the corridor.

The louder the music got, the more my stomach churned because it meant we were nearing the bar and Adele. Common sense told me to stop wigging myself out. Adele and John had been divorced for years, and she was happy with another man.

But a tiny part of me felt as if I was an imposter. Adele had been an ol’ lady for a long time, and the men thought the world of her. I couldn’t help worrying that she’d think I’d swooped in to get John back and take her place in the club.

“You’re shaking,” John pointed out, stopping and gently turning me to face him. “What’s goin’ on?”

“I’m nervous,” I whispered, glancing up at him. “I haven’t seen Adele for years. I don’t want her to think I—that we—oh, you know.”

John’s eyes rounded. “Jesus, Elise. So what if we were, it’s nobody’s damned business. Dell moved on from me years ago. She met a guy while we were still married, and I gave her my blessin’ even then. She only stayed around for the boys and ‘cause Freya was finishin’ up high school. My girl showed promise even then, and we didn’t wanna rock the boat by upsetting her. We lived the final years of our marriage as friends. It’s all we really ever were.”

I lifted my chin to look him dead in the eye. “I know, you said that already, but maybe she felt compelled to leave because your heart wasn’t in it. She may have loved you all along.”

To my shock, he threw his head back and barked a laugh.

“John!” I exclaimed, slapping his arm angrily. “It’s not funny.”

He looked down at me and chuckled. “It’s fuckin’ hilarious, Elise. You have no idea.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. “I get I’ve made you feel insecure, and I know it’s my own damned fault for goin’ there with Adele in the first place, but honest, babe, you’ve got shit all to fret about.”

John pulled me into the bar, which was packed with men and women all shooting the shit and having a good time. Laughter filled the air as some of the guys egged on the kids who were breakdancing and spinning on their heads in the section cordoned off to make a dance floor.

We headed toward a table near the bar, where I spotted Sophie, Kennedy, Cara, and Layla sitting with Iris, Adele, and Freya.

It was as if she sensed me staring at her because Adele stretched her neck up, saw us, and her eyes narrowed.

“John,” I whisper-shouted as I felt my heart sink into my stomach. “Stop it. I don’t want to do this. It’s embarrassing.”

“Babe,” John replied, pulling me adjacent to the table. “I’ve told ya about me and Adele, but you still don’t believe a damned word I say. I’m thinkin’ it’s best you hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

“That better not be me you’re calling a horse, John Stone,” Adele grated out. “I’ll kick your ass.”

John grabbed Freya’s arm and hauled her from her chair. “Missed ya, Princess,” he crooned, pulling her into his arms for a bear hug.

---