Page 180 of Dagger

Slowly, she shifted her body until she faced me. “But you didn’t do anything.” Her gaze lowered to my neck, and tears filled her eyes. “I hurt you.”

“Not as much as I hurt you,” I told her quietly. “I left you swinging, and the worst part about it is that I knew it. The day you sent me away, deep in my soul, I knew it wasn't you, I fuckin’ knew, Leesy, and I still left you withhim. You’ve got nothingto be sorry for, baby.” My eyes flicked between hers. “Willyouforgiveme?”

A tear streaked down her face, and she nodded.

Taking her hand in mine, I intertwined our fingers. “Mitch is here. He’s waiting to see you.”

“I don’t want to talk about the past,” she objected softly.

I squeezed her fingers gently. “I know, baby, but if we don’t work through the past, we can’t guarantee our future. We allowed the bastard to get between us before, and if we don’t come to terms with what he did to us, he’ll always be there.”

“Like last night,” she breathed.

“Yeah. Just like last night.” Leaning forward, I kissed her forehead. “I want our life together to be all about us, Elise Bell, not him. We’ve got kids to keep in line and grandchildren to raise. I don’t want him around them. We need to make him disappear.”

She looked up at me through her lashes. “I’m scared.”

My mouth curved in response. “Me too, baby. In fact, I’m fuckin’ terrified, but if my asshole’s gonna gape with anyone, I want it to be you.”

Her mouth hitched. “You’re so romantic, John Stone. How did I ever live without you?”

A chuckle rose through my chest. “You wouldn’t change a thing about me.”

Her eyes danced with humor. “Okaaay.”

I laughed again, relieved the shadows in her beautiful green orbs were gone, albeit temporarily. She must’ve been feeling better if she was giving me lip.

She slung her arm across my gut and snuggled into my chest.

My fingers went to her hair, and I began to sift through it. “Sophie said something must’ve triggered you recently. What was it?”

Her body stiffened.

“It’s okay,” I murmured. “I just wanna know so we can avoid it, at least until you’re feeling stronger.”

She stayed quiet for a minute before tipping her eyes up to meet mine. “It was the club run.”

My eyebrows snapped together. “I don’t understand.”

“We rode through Main Street, then past the country club and the mansion. I haven’t been out of the clubhouse much, and when I have, I’ve always avoided town. When I was confronted with it after so long, it all came rushing back and knocked me on my ass. Seeing the country club and mansion burned down brought everything to the surface after months of burying it deep. I guess it returned with a vengeance.”

Something dark slid through my chest. “Fuck, Leesy—”

Her fingers pressed on my lips. “Stop. You weren’t to know. Hell, I didn’t know until it happened. It’s okay; I’ll work through it. The only alternative is to leave and come back when I’m feeling stronger, but I know that’s not an option while Cash needs you at the club.” Pretty green eyes locked with mine, and she reiterated, “I’ll be fine, John.”

A lightning bolt struck my chest, and I sucked in a breath at the realization searing through me.

Since I was a boy, my dad put the club before everything, including me and my mom. As a kid who only wanted to make his dad proud, it marked me deeply. My old man would rather spend time carousing with his brethren than be a husband to my mom or a father to me. We spent time together, but always on his terms. We’d tinker with bikes, go for a ride, or throw an axe. All things he felt the son of Bandit Stone and future Prez of the Speed Demons should know if I was to grow up in his image.

Except, I wasn’t him; I was me.

The club was my home, but it wasn’t my world.

Elise was.

I made the excuse that I wanted to enlist so I could learn the skills to support the club, but really, I just wanted to do something for myself. And then I got dazzled by it.

When I was told my skills could make me an elite member of the Marines, suddenly, I was a rock star in my own right, not because I was a Stone. My ego took over, and instead of taking Elise along with me, I was selfish and wanted to bask in my own glory.

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