Page 39 of The Drummer's Heart

“Yeah, well, I’m still seeing Dr. Jensen, but I haven’t been willing to talk about the tough stuff, which sort of defeats the purpose.” I tugged at my hair. “What? You look like you want to say something.”

“I do. But it’s nothing I haven’t said before.”

“Okay…”

“Come sit for a bit.” My sister took what was supposed to be takeout fries to a table and opened the greasy bag. She bit into one of them. “Losing Brian all those years ago taught me that nothing else matters in life if you don’t have the person you love. I never got to say goodbye, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for more time with him. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for just one more moment, no matter how brief. I will always believe that if the person you love is on this Earth, there’s nothing you shouldn’t be willing to do to get them back.”

“She doesn’t want that, Tina. She can’t get over what happened, and there’s the not-so-small complication of her dating someone I hate now.” I felt my blood pressure rising.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Really…” I gritted my teeth.

“Really. I’m telling you none of that matters. But how you get her back is up to you, little brother. I don’t have all the answers. I just tell you what to do, not how to do it.” She winked.

I shook my head and looked at the time. “I have to go. I have to get home to Nicole.”

Tina looked at me a moment. “You realize what you just said, right?Hometo Nicole.”

“It was just a figure of speech.”

She winked again. “Sure it was.”

CHAPTER 13

NICOLE

Every second Atticus was out with that woman was more excruciating than the last. I’d spent the entire time pacing. Also, most of my fingernails were gone after I’d bitten them off.

Tonight was the first time I’d been face to face with a woman Atticus had been with since me. She was pretty, of course, and blonde, my total opposite, which added insult to injury. I’d thoughtIwas his type. Guess not.

Needing a distraction, I’d once again logged in to my computer and checked my old email account, reading another of Atticus’s messages to me.

Nicole,

I don’t understand anything anymore.

I don’t recognize my life.

Someone told me something today that I’m hoping isn’t true.

They said they saw you with Julian.

But only you can tell me the truth.

Is it true?

Are you with him now?

This is the first time I’ve really needed to get drunk since I quit drinking more than three drinks at a time. It’s really fucking hard not to get fucked up tonight.

I get why you’d want to hurt me.

I’m not even debating the fact that I deserve it.

I just don’t know what to say.

I’m broken.

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