Page 17 of Knot Just A Fan

Enzo’s quiet, a ghost of his grin fading from his face. “I do. But, you know, Grayson is a gentleman. He will never push Willow. Lifelong friendship and just being a good dude will do that. If she’s trying to make strides in her career while she has achance, he wants to let her. I get all that. But why can’t she do it down here?” He rubs his jaw. “I don’t like to pushhim. But I do wonder sometimes.”

“It’s time to do more than wonder. Or we split off from him and make our own pack.”

Enzo whips around. “That would kill the band!” He shakes his head. “Not a chance. If we ended things, I cannot imagine wanting to be part of another pack. Fuck that noise.”

“Any suggestions then?” I don’t mean this to come out a sarcastic snarl, but that’s increasingly how everything I say sounds. Shit. What I need is a year-long break. Not a year-long tour.

Enzo scrunches his face. I take this as a no. Then he asks, voice tentative, “Do you?”

A car drives by with people wearing party hats inside, windows down, screaming and blasting some classic rock. They pound on the horn when they see us and scream louder. This isn’t LA. They don’t know who we are. Just a couple guys standing outside a music venue.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR! GO GET SOME, BROS!” they shout.

Go get some. Sigh. I don’t just wantsome. The conflict inside me is wrenching my guts apart.

My deepest, most unspoken want is what I fear Gray will never be strong enough to decide on.

But I’ve got my own fears. Fears that say it’s for the best that we just stay unmatched, keep playing music, and do shit like jigsaw puzzles and hikes together on weekends like a bunch of fucking pensioners.

I love my pack brothers. But without an Omega, I feel our relationship is fraying. And yetwithone,Iwill fray.

I want to be part of a family again. A big one. With screaming kids, built-in playmates. A warm, boisterous house. One thatdoesn’t fall apart. But that, I know, is a fantasy not worth investing in.

The tug-of-war inside me continues. I turn to Enzo. “I have a thought. You won’t like it.”

Enzo shrugs. “This indecision and in-fighting isn’t exactly my cup of tea, mate. If it helps us all get on the same page, I will hear it.”

A smile, a nod, and then I tell him how we get rid of Briella.

CHAPTER 7

Briella

“You’re in pre-heat, girlfriend.”

Cami looms over me, her breath of fruity cocktails and expensive perfume prompting a dry heave.

Beneath me is a sofa that, from the feel of it, has been around almost as long as me. I sit up quickly and the room spins.

It’s a dressing room, with a table, makeup mirror, a few folding chairs, an old-fashioned coat rack with a nearly-bare feather boa abandoned on it, and a case of water bottles on the floor.

“My camera,” I gasp.

“I’ve got it.” Cami holds up her tote bag, hefting the weight of it to prove my most valuable asset is inside.

“How can I be in heat?” I launch off the sofa, accidentally knocking the water bottle from Cami’s hand. “Oh geez, I’m sorry! Were you drinking that?”

She scurries to collect it, having spilled only a little, then perches on the side of the sofa, draping a cool hand on my forearm. “No, I was trying to make you drink it. Mate, you had your first heat years ago. Don’t you remember the signs?” She cocks a perfectly-manicured eyebrow. She looks so pretty in herombré sequined top and high-waisted shorts. I feel dreadful for spoiling the night.

“No, because it wasyearsago, as you so kindly mentioned.” What have I drunk today? For that matter, what have I eaten?

Cami could be right, though. I’m sweating profusely. I don’t have slick yet but I can sense that things arelooseningdown there. I feel every sensation intensely, and my vision feels sharper. Almost painfully so.

I grab my phone and turn on the selfie cam. My pupils areenormous.I swallow tightly.

“What’s going on with your meds? Did you miss one?” she asks.

I’ve taken my heat suppressants religiously since the day my first heat ended, age sixteen. Determined that I’d never end up like Mum, pregnant and surrounded by a dangerous pack who held my life in their hands. Alphas who could kill me, or even just abandon me. I could control little about my life, but not making myself vulnerable was the biggest goal.

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