Page 68 of Unlikely You

“And what’s that?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” I was getting irritated with this conversation. Why was she interrogating me about kissing? “Because you’re…you.”

Honey put a hand on my chest and gently pushed. Immediately, I stepped away from her, even though every cell in my body screamed not to move a single inch.

“Hold on. We need to talk for a minute.”

I let out a frustrated sound and then looked down to find Arson standing there and blinking up at us.

“Why do you think I didn’t want you to kiss me the way you were kissing me?” she asked.

“Because you’re…” I gestured at her and she started laughing.

“What the hell does that mean, Bren?” She seemed to relish saying my name and I adored hearing it from her lips.

“I don’t think we want the same things. You don’t want what I could give you. What I’m capable of giving you.” Honey still seemed puzzled, putting her hands on her generous hips.

“And who decided you were the authority on what I want? Was there a vote, an election, a poll? Because I don’t recall getting a say and I think my opinion is the most important, don’t you?”

I opened my mouth to argue with her, but she just raised her eyebrows and stared at me.

Oh.

“If I don’t like something, I have no problem telling you that. And I feel like you’ve created a version of me that doesn’t exist. If you want to know what I want, just ask me.”

“That’s too logical,” I blurted out, making her laugh.

“Oh, Bren. We’ll figure it out.” She stroked the side of my face and I pressed into her touch. It just felt sogood. Maybe there was something to that data that you needed so many hugs per day. I honestly couldn’t think of the last hug I’d had with a human. I hugged Arson as much as she’d allow, which wasn’t often.

“I’m scared of hurting you,” I told her, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Why do you think you’d hurt me, Bren?” Honey asked, her tone so gentle.

“Because of the things I want. And then there’s…there’s something else. But we maybe don’t have to talk about that.” The idea of telling Honey about the second thing was too mortifying to even consider.

“Okay, I’m hitting the pause button for right now, Bren. I think we need to take a time out, hmm?” That was probably a good idea.

“Yeah.”

She continued to run her fingers through my hair and then scratched her nails against my scalp.

“Ohhh, that feels good,” I said, my voice part moan.

Honey chuckled. “I could stay here and touch your hair all night. It’s beautiful.”

No one had ever said anything particularly positive about my hair. Her compliment made me feel like I was glowing from the inside out. What was this woman doing to me?

“Okay.” I wanted to rub up against her. I wanted to touch all of her skin with all of mine. I wanted to wrap every single appendage I could around her and let her caress me however she wanted for however long she wanted.

“Bren?” she asked, and I surfaced from wherever I’d drifted to on an ocean of endorphins.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to leave, but I’m afraid if I stay that we’ll go too fast too soon.”

As much as I hated it, she was right. There were things about me she needed to know before we got physical.

Every other time I’d been with someone it had been just a physical thing and the only words you really needed were “there” and “more” and “yes.”

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