Page 62 of Unlikely You

“Then why did you?” I asked. There she went again. She was going to diminish everything and put up a wall between us.

“I…” she didn’t finish.

“You wanted to kiss me. You wanted to dance with me. You want me, Bren, and you can deny it, but let’s look at the fact that you went with me to the dance floor, you kissed me back. I’m listening to your actions, not your words. And your actions are speaking pretty clearly.”

I had no idea where those words had come from, but they were true, and I wasn’t going to let her get out of this easily. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but she wasn’t going to lie to my face.

“Jesus, Honey.” She closed her eyes and rubbed a spot right between her eyebrows as if she was trying to stave off a headache.

“Tell me I’m wrong. Go ahead.” There was that anger again. It had flared up even worse than before. Probably because I was so damn horny. The kissing and the dancing with her had ignited my lust and it was burning through my veins. I’d have to take care of myself when I got home, because this need wasn’t going away anytime soon. Bren had set me on fire.

“It’s not that simple,” she said.

“You keep trying to make things complicated, butthisisn’t complicated.” I grabbed her hand and entwined our fingers, holding them up in front of her face. I kissed the back of her hand, adding a little bit of tongue. She tried to stay unaffected, but she let out a little sound that was almost a whimper.

“Not complicated,” I said. “So what now? I know you want me, physically and mentally, and I want you back.” What the hell was I saying? I shouldn’t be telling her this! But if Bren was going to try and reject me, I was going to make sure she knew everything first so I left without any regrets.

It was terrifying, but she had to know. She needed to hear everything.

“I’ve wanted you, Bren and Bibliofile, for months. I’ve been falling for both of you. Iwantyou, Bren Hendrix. All of you.”

There. That was it. The words I’d imagined saying so many times but swore that I never would, so I didn’t scare her. But fuck it. If she couldn’t handle how I felt, then she couldn’t handle me.

If she couldn’t handle me, she didn’t deserve me. As much as that would devastate me, being with someone who wasn’t all-in with me would be worse.

I’d always been the one to feel more, to love more, to give more.

I wasn’t doing it again. Not with her. Not even for her. It would just drain me and diminish me. Again. And I’d just end up with a broken heart anyway.

“God,Honey.” Bren exhaled and then pressed her forehead to mine, her entire body trembling. I reached out to wrap my arms around her. I didn’t even know what I was doing, but I needed to touch her. To hold her.

“You are unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” she said.

“Is that a compliment?”

She let out a breathy laugh. “It’s definitely a compliment. Fuck.”

Bren lifted her head and stared into my eyes. I let myself get lost in the dark swirls of her irises.

“Talk to me,” I demanded.

Bren shook her head slowly. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. You just don’t want to because you’re scared. But ignoring me isn’t going to make me go away. Even if we never say another word to each other, you’re going to see me at the marketplace. I’m not going to avoid you.”

She might hurt me, but she couldn’t break me. I wouldn’t let her.

Bren cursed under her breath, her body still shaking.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she said, so low that I almost couldn’t hear her.

“It’s okay. I don’t really know how to do this right either. Every other relationship I’ve had has been a disaster. I haven’t told you about them, but I will.” I’d show her everything: the good parts and the bad. She’d already seen a lot of my bad as Bibliofile.

“Relationship,” she said. “Is that what this is?”

I laughed.

“Yes, Bren. I’d like to have a relationship with you. Whatever that looks like.”

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