Page 84 of Ink & Stardust

I open my mouth, unsure of what might come out, only to snap it closed again because I honestly don’t know what to say, not when she seems to know so much, which can only mean one thing. She’s been there too. This isn’t some ploy to make me jealous or to hurt me, as much as I want to believe it is.

“Don’t feel too bad.” She finally moves to the side, giving me room to enter the bathroom, though I don’t immediately move to do so. “We’ve all fallen for it. And what’s even worse, we ignored the warnings from others and ourselves, as I’m sure you have done and will continue to do, even with me standing here telling you that he’s not a good guy. Because that’s his superpower. He knows exactly what to do, what to say, to keep us crawling back for more.”

“You don’t know him the way I do,” I force out, each breath becoming more difficult to pull in.

She laughs, the sound high and shrill.

“You know, I think I said those exact same words to Devin when she tried to warn me. I was so sure that I was different. Now look at me.” She gestures at her towel-clad body. “I’m just as pathetic as the rest of them.”

With that, she turns and disappears inside her room, leaving me to fight off the panic attack clawing up my back like a rabid animal. I’m not sure how long I stand here, my mind swirling a million miles a minute, my stomach threatening to expel the pizza I ate earlier as I sat across the bed from Kai, my lungs working harder than they should to gather the necessary air.

Spinning on my heel, I shove my way back into my room, needing to talk to Maisie before I’m past the point of no return.

“Is this what he does?” I ask abruptly, not missing the two confused gazes that swing my way. I hone in on Maisie. “Kai. Is this what he does?” I pant, unable to catch my breath. Unable to slow my too-fast heart.

“Clarify whatthisis, Lyric.” She looks almost as confused as I feel.

I don’t even know why I’m asking. I already know it is. Already know that I’m not special. That I mean nothing. A part of me has always known because he told me so himself.

“I just ran into Claire in the hallway.” I try to explain through panted words. “Did you know he’s slept with several people in this very building? Not just slept with them once but for months, and then he moves on to another. Am I just another stone in his trip across the pond?” I sputter out, heaviness weighing down my shoulders.

Maisie throws her legs over the bed and quickly hops down, crossing the space toward me so quickly I blink and she’s standing in front of me.

“Hey. Take a breath.” She grips my shoulders and it isn’t until she does that I realize I’m shaking. “Tell me exactly what she said.”

I pull in a slow breath, trying to focus on my words and not the feeling of dread slowly pulling me under.

“She gave me the names of other women he’s slept with. Women who he led to believe he cared about, only to drop them when someone new he wanted to fuck came along.” I grimace at the word on my tongue, still not used to saying such things so casually. “Is that all I am? Haven’t I known this all along? Didn’t he tell me this very thing himself?” Hot tears streak down my cheeks, but I don’t attempt to bat them away, my emotions firing on all cylinders.

“I told you to steer clear of him, so yes, obviously, I knew his pattern, which is why I wanted you to stay away from him in the first place. But then I saw him at the party with you and... I’ve known him most of my life, Lyric, and when I tell you that I’ve never seen him with anyone the way he is with you, I mean it. He took you to meet his grandma, for goodness’ sake, which I don’t think he’s ever done in the history of ever. And at Thanksgiving, anytime we found each other in the same room, all he wanted to talk about was you. Does that sound like a man who’s just using you until something else comes along?”

“I-I don’t know,” I stutter, my panic somewhat deflating but certainly not dissipating entirely.

“Look at me.” She urges my eyes back to hers when I attempt to look away. “If I thought he was going to hurt you, I would say so, and I don’t think he is. He’s different with you, Lyric. I know maybe that sounds hard to believe given his past, but he is. Even my brother noticed that he was acting differently. You weren’t even there and Jackson could tell something about him had changed.Youare changing him, even if you don’t realize it yet.”

“She’s right.”

I swear I blink and Charlotte appears next to Maisie, reaching out to take my hand in hers. She gives my fingers a gentle squeeze.

“I may not know him well but when a man looks at a woman the way he looks at you, it usually only means one thing. Don’t let Claire get in your head. That bitch was just waiting for her chance to start trouble.”

“Why?” I croak, wiping away the trace of tears from my cheeks, starting to feel like maybe I overreacted a bit. Of course she was trying to rile me. But that doesn’t necessarily make what she said any less true.

“Because she’s a miserable cum shot who wants everyone else to be miserable too,” Maisie sneers. “He fucked her, didn’t want her, gave her back, so of course she’s going to target you for it, even if your relationship with Kai is completely different than hers was. She doesn’t want you to believe that it is because if she can convince you that you’re just the same as her, then maybe you’ll end things with Kai, which is ultimately what she wants.”

A pang of guilt slides through my chest. Maybe she came at me to hurt me, but that doesn’t change the fact that she herself is hurting. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is something I am all too familiar with. Loving someone who values you so little that they would screw your best friend behind your back and not even have the decency to be genuinely sorry about it, or in this case, they would start screwing the girl next door almost as if to rub your nose in it.

My stomach sours at the thought.

“I didn’t realize you knew her so well,” I finally say after too long.

“Unfortunately, we went to the same high school, so yeah, I know her better than I’d like. Doesn’t mean I like her, though. She tried to come onto my brother once at a birthday party when she was like fourteen. He was like nineteen at the time.”

“She didn’t?” My mouth drops open.

“Oh, she did. She’s the first to spread her legs and the last to take any accountability when things go south.”

I wish I could say Maisie’s words make me dislike her more, but in reality, all they serve to do is make me feel even more sorry for her, though I can’t really explain why.

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