Page 50 of Alfie: Part Two

He cleared his throat too. “I don’t know. I don’t know how Finn and Liam handle this kind of shit. I don’t know if I wanna escalate or put boundaries—or if I even can. I don’t know what a fair punishment is when all I want is for that motherfucking cunt to burn.”

I inhaled deeply and took comfort in his open rambling. Openness was a good sign, no matter how it was delivered.

“Do you trust me?” I asked patiently.

He glanced over at me. “Yeah.”

I nodded once. “Then all I ask is that you keep talking to me. Regardless of what you find out when you talk to Finn and your brother, please don’t shut me out. I think we can handle this better as a team, whatever the outcome might be.”

He swallowed and eyed me warily. “Even if the fucker dies once we find him?”

“Even then,” I responded right away. “I didn’t go into this blindly or with a naïve view of the Sons, Alfie.” I put my foot on the gas again, and I went on. “Look. Do I want you to pull the trigger? Absolutely not. I think it will hurt you in the long run, and it goes against my nature to believe citizens should act as both judges and executioners. But this is as close as I’ll get, without you or our children getting injured. I love Giulia, and I want that son of a bitch to suffer too.”

“So…”

“So, whatever happens—just talk to me, and we’ll figure it out. I accept secrecy in whatever you do on a daily basis. In fact, I’d rather not know the details. Butthis…? This will leave marks if it goes far enough, and it might cause a rift between us if you try to keep this quiet, all while taking a nosedive into depression or trauma or…I don’t know.”

He let out an unsteady breath and nodded slowly.

“To be honest, I don’t think I can keep this from you anyway,” he admitted. “I’m gonna need you through all of it, West. I’ll need you to ground me if I flip my lid.”

“Consider yourself grounded. No screen time either.”

He flashed an uncertain smile and squeezed my hand. I caught his eyes welling up too.

I knew what he meant, of course. Whether he called me the person who kept him grounded or his moral compass, the current clusterfuck was definitely one he didn’t want to get lost in by himself.

“Have I ruined everything?” he asked quietly.

I furrowed my brow and?—

“I mean—complicating shit,” he said. “If I was working as a bartender now and this happened, we woulda waited for the cops to do their thing.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Complicating isn’t synonymous with ruining, baby. Call me a hypocrite for wanting justice without being willing to enforce it myself, but… No, you haven’t ruined anything. And I will gladly take some complications if whoever came after Giulia will get what’s coming to him.”

He sniffled and kissed my hand. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

I’d tell him however many times it took.

I thought back on the conversation I’d had with her earlier today, and I had to come to grips with the aforementioned hypocrisy. But in the end, maybe it wasn’t a matter of man or monster. Perhaps it was simply about choosing sides, and I’d certainly done that. I couldn’t deny that I cared far more for “my side” than any enemy.

I didn’t care about fairness as much as I would’ve liked.

Alfie had spoken so bluntly on the matter before we’d gotten back together, and I remembered it had shocked me. And now, screw it, I was with him. It was about us. I would always choose us and our side.

“For the record, covering for Kellan is really fuckin’ boring,” he grumbled. “Since I don’t show my face much, I’m just taking calls and yelling at motherfuckers to pay up on time.”

I chuckled under my breath.

“But the money’s good,” he added with a little smirk. Then he dug out something from his pocket, and I felt my eyebrows crawl higher. It was a bundle of cash. “I made two grand today. Before September’s over, Liam estimates I’ll walk away with roughly thirty grand.”

“That settles it,” I murmured. “I’m quitting my job.”

“Kellan makesbank.”

“Yeah, well. I had four cannoli today.”

I also really needed to go to the bathroom.

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