Page 65 of Broken Dreams

His absence would hurt if I’m honest with myself. I’d pretend I didn’t care, because he was just a client, a mark I was supposed to milk for his money. However, I didn’t have to act with him. Alpha Sanchez let me be myself. He would give Quinn and I time to love each other, write our feelings on the other’s skin as he watched like a voyeur.

The pieces of shattered moments are coming together, yet I don’t know how I feel about it. A part of me feels betrayed by destiny. So many years, and Quinn and I have been in the presence of our scent match for that long and never knew.

Unbidden, a tear escapes my lash line as my eyes fill with them. It feels as if I’m saying goodbye to something that could have had potential. I don’t know how he would fit into our lives now. I’m not interested in a constant tug of war between my alphas, and Quinn and I are people, not children to squabble over in a custody dispute.

Goodbye.

Quinn raises her face to show me her own reddened eyes and tears tracking down her face. I gaze down at her as if to ask her what she wants. I won’t make decisions for her. I just don’t understand how this could ever work. Alpha Sanchez has rules, a way of doing things, and structure.

Quinn and I are getting used to living in a world where we get to choose. I can’t imagine that being ripped away from us. I don'tunderstand what to do, how to tell Alpha Sanchez that it’s too little too late. Scent bonds are something I’m still trying to wrap my mind around, and I’ve begun searching for podcasts on the topic since I can’t ask Callum and Duncan.

It feels too personal, something everyone should know about or their families should explain to them while they’re growing up. Quinn even struggles to explain it, and led the charge in an internet search.

I don’t know how these bonds work, if they simply fade over time if we decide to never see Alpha Sanchez again. Will it hurt him?

We have been in our nest finding our way, enjoying Adira’s generosity, though she hasn’t come by again. Hopefully we’ll get to see her soon. I think Quinn is curious about this omega that has so much of our alphas’ affection. I know I am.

So much goes on in my mind in a short time, all while I think about what Callum is saying. Happiness is difficult, joy needs to be sought after years of being abused.

Alpha Sanchez never bothered to pay the toll for our happiness, he merely came to see us when it worked for him, while we drifted in the seas of misery. He doesn’t deserve us.

Quinn searches for her pen, the notebook long tossed to the floor, facing me. Grabbing the back of my shirt with one hand, I pull it off so I can be her vessel to speak. I would do anything for her.

Anything.

Callum and Duncan turn to face us as she writes on my chest, whatever excuses Alpha Sanchez has are falling on deaf ears. Here, we’re united in our bubble.

No. Too late. Say goodbye.

“It appears, one of our omegas—” Duncan cuts himself off as I gaze down at Quinn’s words and decide I feel the same, raising two fingers into the air. “I spoke too soon and out of turn. Both ofthem have decided that whatever paltry excuses you have aren’t enough. Your advances are rejected, as are you.”

The choking sound on the other end is short-lived as Duncan flips up his middle finger at the phone and hangs up. Quinn curls her hands around my biceps as if she’s going to blow away, the pen pressed between my skin and hers.

“What are the odds that he’ll accept that?” Duncan sighs.

“You know rejections have to come from the omega,” Callum says, his head dropping back onto the couch.

“I didn’t know that,” I rasp, emotion thick in my voice.

“My mistake,” he says simply, though he was speaking to his brother. “The scent match, if he’s telling the truth, will not affect you or your heat until it snaps into place for you. You know that to be true, Linus, because of our unique situation. If you wanted to, you could walk away at any time, without any issues.”

“Will this hurt Alpha Sanchez?” I ask, biting my lip.

“The fact that you’re still calling him that instead of Christian shows the imbalance between you,” Duncan grunts. The easy way the brothers pick up the thread of conversation just serves to show how close they are.

I have no idea what that familial bond feels like.

Alpha Sanchez, even though he showed us kindness, was a client. He never acted as if we were his that I can recognize. It’s time to move on. I have a heartsick omega curled up against me, and Duncan presses a tissue into my hand to dry her tears.

They still defer to me when it comes to these things, and I’m trying to wrap my head around that. No one has ever really looked to me as if I know more than them since college. They’re paying attention, learning what Quinn needs, and when.

It’s as if they’re studying us so they don’t fuck up. God, I’m completely inept at relationships.

“Words, Linus,” Callum murmurs.

“I don’t know how to feel about him, except that he didn’t do enough. Quinn and I deserve better,” I finally say.

The warmth and weight of their bodies press against me like really gorgeous bookends, and they purr for me. My mind is fucked up about a lot of things, but that’s okay.

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