Page 66 of Broken Dreams

I’m safe and I have the space to figure my shit out. That’s enough.

There’s no reason not to sign this paperwork to give Quinn and I both safety and move forward in this life we’re building together with Callum and Duncan. Reaching for the paperwork on the table, I sign my name in the important places and then hand the pen to Quinn. Defiance sparks in her eyes as she ruthlessly signs her name without hesitation.

For us, for our budding pack. We don’t need Alpha Sanchez, and it's clear he doesn’t need us with his lackluster actions.

Sometimes, there’s no second chances.

QUINN

Alpha Sanchez’ calls rocked me. Everything today has been a roller coaster of ups, downs, and crashes. Now, I’m feeling a little numb, which I’m sure is a symptom of disassociation.

It’s later in the day now, and Duncan and Callum just stayed with us as Linus and I said goodbye to something that didn’t even have a chance to start because of a failure to launch.

That’s the only way I can think of it. We’re just… done, and Duncan blocked his number.

Curled up in the nest now while Linus is downstairs getting us a snack, I look around the room. The gauzy cream curtains around the nest are soft and give the feeling of cutting off theworld when needed. The sheets on the bed are creamy soft cotton which I’m finding that I prefer after years of having to deal with cold satin fabric, and there are so many blankets and fluffy pillows in different textures and nude colors that feel cohesive.

Running my hand over one, I sigh happily at the fact that it stays cool at all times, despite how overheated you may feel.

The windows have blue blackout curtains with lace overlays to block out the light, twinkly fairy lights are strung along the ceiling and placed throughout the curtains surrounding the bed. I love it, but want Linus to pick something out for the room.

If he insists, so will I. Maybe a candle or two.

Underneath the sheets in very specific places, Linus and I have been hiding articles of clothing that belong to Duncan and Callum. T-shirts after they’ve worked out, sweatshirts as they hang out in the living room, items that smell like them that allow us to breathe in their scents.

Together, Linus and I steal their clothes and place them in places that feel right. When the scent begins to disappear, we replace it. Rinse and repeat, like the greedy omegas that we are.

He told me he didn’t want to be away from me and wanted to share the nest. It makes sense to me, as I feel the same way. Maybe it’s co-dependent, but I don’t care.

Opening the laptop, I search for podcasts that may help explain if what I’m feeling is normal. It leads to therapist blogs that attempt to tell me I should work on finding myself, while Alpha Psychology Today says that co-dependency is expected for omegas, but only for their alphas.

Gag me with a knife, please.

Switching gears, I search for omega specific podcasts. A few come up, one is through the Regional Omegas Women’s association, which frankly just sounds pretentious. The otherthat catches my attention is someone who is obviously trying to remain anonymous and called themselves: The Little Rabbit.

Smirking at the name, I shrug and cue it up on my screen. There’s several months of posts, and I choose the first one. While they’re labeled with cute little names, I want to make sure this person’s voice isn’t going to sound like nails on a chalkboard before I fully commit to scrolling through.

Her voice as it comes through is soft and strong, her words halting at times as she gathers her thoughts.

“Have you ever noticed how big the world can feel at times?”The Little Rabbit asks, as if she’s in the room with me. I find myself nodding, because simply sitting here in my nest, scrolling through the internet as I attempt to catch up on the past twenty years of my life has felt overwhelming.

I’ve searched the internet for my well loved bands that have now long since broken up, or someone overdosed, to trying to find brands I used to like that no longer exist. These things may seem small, but they matter to me. The world has continued to soldier on without my presence within it.

I’ve been caught up in time, despite the life I’ve lived within it.

“I have,”The Little Rabbit muses. “It’s the real world experience I don’t understand, or how to be an adult. I didn’t get to date before I was ripped from my home, and I don’t understand the closeness between girlfriends.”

Glancing at the date, it appears as if this was posted earlier this year. The sorrow flows from her voice, making it clear this isn’t rage bait or a podcast made simply for views. Laying back on the sea of pillows on the giant sunken mattress, I continue to listen as I nod.

“There are so many people who will tell you who you should be or how to feel. Fuck them. Being an omega is an intensely personal experience. We’re special, and none of usare the same. Each of us will react differently to different circumstances, or will want different things,” she says. “Embrace your individuality, please. Go for that job that’s been plaguing you, travel the world, or hole up in your nest on a bad day. Productivity is a lie when your world is imploding around you. Just be yourself.”

The podcast ends, and I blink slowly, tears irrationally stinging my eyes. It feels as if I just lost a friend, which is incredibly naive. We don’t know each other, she’s an anonymous voice on the internet, yet I resonated with her words.

“Are there more of those?” Linus rasps, surprising me. He’s so quiet, which is something we’ve both perfected so we can move as undetected as possible.

Dragging in a breath, I nod, motioning him over. My pen and paper are within reach, but it’s easier to just do this.

Linus smirks, bringing a tray of cheese, salami, crackers, hummus, and more. My lips part as my mouth waters, very impressed with his work.

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