Page 113 of Winter's End

Logan kept his head in the books and was our wheeler-and-dealer, building business relationships, and keeping our operations running smoothly. He’d stayed clean but kept his distance when the clubs were in full swing; the pull to use would never completely go away, and we all did what we could to support him.

Occasionally, I made an appearance to sing with our regular bands when I was in the area, but that was a rarity these days. I had other things on my plate.

I looked down at my swelling belly and shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

Children weren’t something I’d ever considered. Not that Ididn’twant them. I just hadn’t thought about it. I hadn’t aspired to be a mother, and seeing how all of us had been betrayed by at least one of our parents, I hadn’t expected the guys to want children, either.

It came up in conversation one night while watching a movie. I can’t remember how, but it was Drew who’d said he looked forward to seeing me pregnant.

The statement had shocked me so much, I’d nearly choked to death on my popcorn. It brought up a pretty raucous debate. Drew and Shane wanted children, Travis was a hesitant neutral, and Cam and Logan were firmly on the ‘no’ fence.

I couldn’t blame them—both men didn’t want their DNA polluting our unborn child, even though they were incredible men who hadn’t let their unfortunate parentage define their own lives. Still, they wouldn’t budge.

Other than their adulthood discoveries, Shane and Drew both had good upbringings with siblings and family meals, and all the scenarios that would be featured on a Christian family pamphlet. They were both excited at the prospect of beingfathers, and I knew in my heart, they’d be amazing dads, but it hadn’t been enough to sway me to their side.

I was with Travis. At that point, we had just started our business. Shane and Travis were still in school, and we had no idea what the future held, other than we wanted it to be together.

So, we tabled our family planning talk to get our lives in order. Then, when we finally did, life didn’t give us a choice, anyway. Some defect in my birth-control had gotten me pregnant.

I was sure the five shots of strong sperm I was getting on a regular basis had nothing to do with it.

It took a little while for everyone to be accustomed to the surprise, but my men had warmed up more quickly to it than I’d thought; more quickly than me, even. Once we were all on board, we’d agreed we wouldn’t get a DNA test and would let it all play out naturally.

These men were all fathers, regardless of genetics. Given how different my men looked, I was pretty sure we’d be able to tell without a test, anyway.

It had taken a little while to establish a true family dynamic, but we’d gotten there. It was hard to navigate six relationships among six people, but through continuous communication and the willingness to be vulnerable, we’d made it through. We still had our fair share of fights and gripes that any family had, but in the end, our commitment to each other never wavered.

We couldn’t legally marry on this side of the world, so Logan had surprised us with a trip two years ago to Nepal, where polyamory was a legally recognized relationship. We’d exchanged commitment rings on a stunning cliff edge overlooking a Nepalese valley, confessing our vows to two villagers and the tree-tops from hundreds of feet above.

Drew and Shane professed their own oaths to each other and exchanged rings they wear on their right hands.

It was the most magical moment of my life.

Travis kissed the side of my head and pulled me from my reminiscing. “I’m going with you this morning.” He eyed the clock on the wall behind me. “We’ll have to leave in the next half hour. You ready?”

Today was my twenty-week ultrasound. Shane had championed an arm-wrestle battle to determine who was going with me; I had told them in no uncertain terms was I bringing five men into a gynecologist’s office. To everyone’s disbelief, Travis won. He’d confessed to me later that he and Devon used to arm-wrestle all the time, so he was well practiced. The sadness never left his eyes when he spoke of his brother.

After a round of kisses goodbye and two pee breaks, we entered the four-door garage.

I’d kept Basil in tip-top shape, and drove him whenever I could. I bought Travis an upgrade as soon as he’d graduated—it would have been years sooner, but his pride wouldn’t let me get him a new car until I practically threatened divorce if he didn’t accept one as a graduation present. His shiny black Jeep Cherokee beeped in the driveway.

“We’re taking my car,” he joked, as we made our way to his vehicle. “We’re going to go broke if you get any more speeding tickets.”

I gave him the finger and stuck out my tongue, but said nothing. Ihadracked up quite a few recently. I paid them, at least.

“Have you called your parents yet?” he asked as I buckled up.

“Not yet. I’ll call them after we get the results.”

Dad and Emmett had gotten reduced sentences and early parole for good behavior. Mom and I had gotten closer while Dad served his time. She now had a very regular presence in my life. Once we could see past our detached history, I even discovered IlikedMiranda Wallace. She had a wicked sense of humor and could give some really sound advicewhen the poly dynamic felt too challenging to navigate.

Amelia had spoken to Shane at length about his father and his transgressions. Over time, she’d convinced him to give his father another chance. Their relationship was still strained, but he could understand the guilt Emmett had harbored over Brenda’s death. I was secretly hoping their new grandchild would be the key to bringing them back to the father-son duo they’d always been.

Drew’s parents didn’t understand our lifestyle, and it took a while for them to accept their son coming out as bisexual with both a male and female partner. They were happy for him though, and his sisters were ecstatic about the prospect of being ‘aunties’.

I had forgiven Dad a long time ago. He’d paid the price for his choices, and after I had compromised my own ethics in Georgio’s web, I could see that slippery slope for what it was. I wouldn’t punish my father or myself for the rest of my life. We’d all suffered enough.

When my parents heard they were having a grandchild, Mom screamed with excitement and Dad’s grin was the widest I had ever seen. Tears streamed down both their faces and they immediately started throwing out baby names. I was going to have to set some boundaries; I had a feeling we’d be getting lots of unannounced visits.

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