Page 57 of In Plain Sight

He blinked a few times. “Either you’re the world’s greenest green flag, or there’s more to this story.”

My chest tightened. He wasn’t wrong, but I couldn’t tell him the real reason we broke up.

“Our relationship is complicated, and it ties into why I left the church,” I said, sneaking a glance at him.

His face was full of earnest interest, like he really cared and wanted to hear my story.

“The reason my mom joined the church was because she got into some trouble,” I continued. “She drove her car into a mailbox after having a few too many. No one was hurt, and it was her first offense, so they offered her a plea deal. If she did a twelve-step program and got sober, they’d drop the charges against her. She took it and went to meetings at a church near where we lived. I guess the religious aspect of the program really appealed to her, and the church became her whole life.”

Luka gave me a small nod when I glanced at him again.

“Ivy grew up in the church. We met at a youth event when we were ten, and we’ve been best friends ever since.” Absently, I scuffed the toe of my sneaker against the rough pavement. “When we were fifteen, everyone in our lives decided that we couldn’t just be friends anymore and we had to start dating. Her father basically told me that if I didn’t ‘do right by her’”—I made little air quotes with my fingers—“then I wasn’t welcome around her or the family anymore. And my mother said the same thing, only she made it seem like Ivy was the problem and I was the one who needed to be done right by.”

Luka grimaced. “That’s so weird to me. My parents made a huge deal about putting friendships before relationships when my sister and I were teenagers. And my mother still goes full berserker mode on anyone who makes those sexist comments or jokes about kids. You know, the ones about toddlers dating because they’re opposite gender friends, or calling a four-year-old a ladies' man, or telling a little girl that she’s going to be fighting boys off with sticks when she’s older. It’s crazy to me that they’d force you to date.”

“Bet you’re going to think it’s really crazy when I tell you that they pretty much forced us to get married too,” I said with a smirk.

His eyes rounded comically. “Theywhat?”

I raked a hand through my hair, flipping the long strands to the other side. “My mom kicked me out when I was eighteen, right after I graduated from high school.”

Luka’s expression was full of sympathy, but there was an undercurrent of anger that validated my own and helped me keep talking.

“She gave me a choice. I could marry Ivy and she’d help support us while we got on our feet, or I could just get out and figure everything out on my own.

“Ivy wanted out of her house even more than I wanted out of mine. She has four younger siblings and her parents put a lot of the responsibility of raising them on her. Her parents also offered to help support us if we got married, so we figured it was the best way for us both to escape.”

I couldn’t stop the wry grin that stretched over my lips. “We didn’t realize that we’re not…compatible until after we were married.”

“Compatible, like…in the bedroom?” he asked tentatively.

I nodded. “I love her, and I’ll always love her, but that part of our relationship never worked. We struggled for years to try and fix it, but eventually realized that we’re into different things and it couldn’t be fixed.”

Well, not that different since we both only like men.

I ignored that thought and glanced at Luka again.

He looked thoughtful now. That had to be a good sign, right? I wasn’t talking too much?

“How long have you been divorced?” he asked.

“Almost eight years.”

“I think it’s amazing you were able to work through that. I’ve known so many people who weren’t able to go back to being friends when they broke up. And that was only dating, not being married.”

“I think a big difference with us was that we only got married, only dated, because it was forced on us. Even when we were together, we acted like friends. There was no passion, no real lust or desire for either of us, but because of the church and what we were taught about relationships, we thought that was normal—good, even—because it meant we wouldn’t be tempted to have sex before we were married.”

Luka huffed out a laugh. “That’s another thing I never understood. Forcing people to wait until after they’re married to see if they’re compatible in bed. I know it’s a control thing, but it’s so counterintuitive. You don’t buy a car without test-driving it. Why would you marry someone you’ve never slept with?” He winced. “My mom and sister would kick my ass if they heard me comparing women to cars.”

I laughed softly, feeling lighter than I had in months.

Nate, Dev, Ivy, and her husband were the only people who knew the truth about our marriage. The guys at work knew I was divorced and that my ex-wife and I were still best friends, but that was it.

It was freeing to tell Luka, even if I couldn’t tell him the whole truth. It made me feel seen, and it was a relief to let go of one more secret that always felt like it was weighing me down.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that.” Luka shifted and pressed his arm against mine. “Thank you for telling me, for trusting me.”

The heat radiating off his arm seeped into my chilled skin, warming me from the inside. Butterflies exploded in my stomach, and my heart did a weird sort of skittering beat.

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