Page 109 of Playoff

He frowns. “Please tell me this isn’t about that girl—your ex.”

“She’s not agirl, she’s a woman. And she’s not my ex. She’s my current. And my future.” That’s not completely true, but I’m not going to let him minimize what I feel for her. “And we have to talk before I can decide anything.”

“Dude. This has been the goal since day one—and now you’re going to fuck around because of a woman?”

“I’m not fucking around,” I say as patiently as I can. “We’re a couple, and we need to discuss life-changing decisions together. You don’t make big decisions without your wife, right? And anyway, I’d like to see if the Phantoms come back with an offer before I sign anything. We have to go through the whole process.”

“Right, of course.” He nods, probably realizing I’m serious and not going to back down. “I’ll reach out to the Phantoms ASAP. But we don’t want to let this offer sit too long. It’s a lot of money, Blake.”

It is.

And if Rowan won’t take me back, give me yet another chance, then I’ll sign the damn contract. No reason to be alone, miserable,andbroke.

But the first thing I’m going to do is everything I can to make her change her mind. If that means leaving hockey now, then I will. If the Phantoms offer me a one-year contract, I’ll try to make her see how much that money could change our lives, and I’ll use as much of it as necessary to try to get her out of her contract without costing her the job she loves so much.

If not, then we’ll sneak around for one season and then I’ll be done.

“You gonna marry her?” Anson asks as we head for the airport.

“What?” I cock my head.

I haven’t gotten that far yet.

Still too much for us to work out.

“If that’s the plan, you should do it now, before you sign anything, so they’ll move her too. Otherwise, since you guys don’t live together, she’ll have to move herself. Assuming you’re going to Boston, of course. Maybe the Phantoms will surprise us with a counteroffer.”

“I’d prefer to stay in L.A.,” I say. “Even if it’s less money.”

He’s quiet for a beat.

“All right. Then I guess I’ll have to polish up my negotiation skills.”

Whatever.

I don’t really care.

All I want right now is to get back to Rowan.

I will beg, borrow, grovel, plead—whatever I have to do to win her back.

I don’t really havea plan when I land in L.A. We don’t have a rental car anymore, Bodi’s gone back to Phoenix, and Rowan not only doesn’t know I’m coming, but she’s also currently not speaking to me.

I rent a car and head for her place.

I don’t know what I’m going to say but I have to see her, talk to her, try to open the lines of communication.

I tried texting her but she’s blocked my number, and that just annoys me.

There’s always the chance I’m going to be playing for the Phantoms next year, and if that’s the case, we’re going to have to be civil to each other. I know she was hurt that I kept a big secret from her, but it wasn’t done maliciously.

I’m fucking crazy in love with her.

And I’ll do anything to make it right.

I park on the street in front of her building and ring the buzzer.

I’m glad she has good security where she lives but tonight it’s frustrating. Especially when she doesn’t answer. I buzz again, tapping my foot impatiently. It’s completely plausible that she’s simply not home, but part of me wonders if she’s up there using the security camera to watch me. Ignoring me. Hoping I’ll go away.

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