Page 114 of Devoted

‘You’re dying.’

“Rami, do something!” Theo was shouting, but I couldn’t respond. Couldn’t tell him there was nothing Rami could do.

“I’m trying.” More hands touching me. Warmth spreading through me. I tried to cling to it, but it did nothing. I recoiled.

More shouting. I couldn’t differentiate between the voices anymore. The black spots filled in more.

Soon it’ll be over.

A new voice rose above the others. It was firm. Strict.

All the other voices went quiet.

The hands stopped touching me.

The music fell silent.

The lights were turned off.

A figure dropped down beside me. Through the dots, he studied me thoughtfully, then he lay down beside me, watching me closely.

“Take your time, Sam,” Benji said calmly. “You’re going to be okay. You’re having a panic attack.”

‘No. I’m dying.’

“You’re not dying.” Shit, I’d said that out loud. “It just feels that way. Once your body stops producing adrenaline, the physical symptoms will stop.”

“I’m sorry,” I choked out as tears began to fall. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Why?” Benji looked genuinely confused. “You can’t help what your body is doing right now.”

But I should have been able to. Everyone else could. Why couldn’t I?

“You’re not alone,” Benji whispered. “I know you might feel that way, but I’m here. Ez will be soon, too. Until then, would you like me to talk you through some grounding techniques? I’ve been doing some research. It might help.”

Why had Benji been researching grounding techniques? Did he know about my OCD? Had Zeke been worried this might happen?

That thought wasn’t embarrassing or upsetting. Rather, it unlocked something. A warmth that Iwasable to cling onto.

I blinked away some tears as I rasped out an answer for Benji. “Yes, please.”

26

Ezekiel

Iknew something was wrong as soon as the four of us stepped across the threshold.

I wasn’t the only one either. Nox paused, his head tilting to the side. “Is it just me, or is it a bit too…quiet?”

Micah and I exchanged a look. “It isn’t just you.”

My heart began to speed up. Fuck. Was Sam okay? We’d been gone far longer than expected, the four of us picking apart Gloria’s threats and debating what to do next. Had something triggered my mate? Was he okay? “I’m going to check on Sam.”

“Wait.” Benji stepped out of a doorway, his eyes guarded. “We need to have a chat first.”

The fear hovering around me dropped onto my shoulders like a physical weight. The monster tugged at his leash, his growl joining mine as I squared up to the smaller angel. “You’re not going to stop me going to my mate, Benji.”

To his credit, Benji didn’t so much as blink. “I’m not trying to, Ez. But wedoneed to talk before you go to him. If you go in there all guns blazing, you’ll make things worse.”

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