It should’ve been a red flag, but I saw red flags everywhere, even when they didn’t exist. If I paid attention to all of them, I’d never get anything done. “I’m sure that if he did make a pass, that’d be the reason why.”
“Sure.” Zeke pursed his lips but didn’t argue. “We’ll see.”
Something was nagging at me, just pulling on the edges of my mind. I tried to focus on it, tried to bring it to the forefront, but it refused. “Why are you talking like I’m going to meet him? Up until earlier, you were determined I wasn’t going to meet you, let alone your friends.”
“Things have changed.”
Just then, the thought crystallised. As soon as it did, I wished it hadn’t. I even wished it was an intrusive thought, based on nothing more than my psyche looking for problems that didn’t exist.
But, unfortunately, I knew that wasn’t the case. I wasn’t making this up. This had definitely happened.
“On the phone earlier,” I said slowly, replaying the conversation we’d been having before everything had gone to hell. “What were you going to say?”
Zeke winced. “That doesn’t matter now.”
“I think it does.” Horror dawned on me. Zeke was only here out of a sense of duty. If those intruders hadn’t chosen myhouse, tonight would’ve ended very differently. “You were going to break things off, weren’t you?”
He pushed off the wall, “Sam, I can explain?—”
“No thank you,” I raised a hand, giving him a pained smile. “It’s okay. You wanted to help me, and you have. You don’t need to explain anything else.”
“Yes, I do,” he ground out, crossing the room until he was just in front of me. Once again, his hands rose before falling, turning to fists at his sides. “Sam, what happened earlier was a mistake. I was scared, and wrong. So fucking wrong.”
“But now things are different?”
“Yes.” He swallowed hard. “Very different, Sam. Ending things now is the last thing I want.”
I was so confused. “But why? Why did you change your mind? Because you saw me?”
“No.” He paused, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “It happened before that. The second I knew you were in danger, when I heard the fear in your voice, nothing else mattered. I didn’t give a shit about all the things I was supposed to care about. All I wanted was to protect you.”
I frowned. “What things?”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter now.”
There was an itching sensation at the back of my neck. I couldn’t just let this go. “It matters to me.”
Zeke tilted his head to the side. “Why?”
“Because of everything that’s happened. You got me off but didn’t want to meet. Then you?—”
“Wait, is that why you were acting weird after we had sex?”
I glared at him. “We didn’t have sex, Zeke.”
“Were you not there? Because the way I see it, we both had orgasms together.”
“That’s the thing though, weweren’ttogether. There’s always been a barrier between us, and up until an hour ago, you seemedperfectly satisfied with keeping that barrier there. Actually, no, I forgot. An hour ago you were about to end things completely.”
“Sam, I—” He reached for me again but froze. My temper, so rarely roused, was flaring.
“And that’s another thing—why do you keep going to touch me and stopping? Am I that repulsive to you?”
I froze, realising I was shouting.
‘He’s going to hate you now. Maybe even call the police and accuse you of assaulting him. Run. Run now.’
I didn’t run. Instead, I slapped my hand over my mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry.”