Zeke looked puzzled. “For what?”
“For speaking to you like that.” I was mortified. “I’ve never raised my voice to anyone before.”
“Baby, my friends raise their voices to me several times a day.”
I tried to ignore the tingling that simple endearment caused. “That seems mean.”
“Only because I didn’t say I raise mine too, often first.” He flashed a dimple at me and I almost melted. “As for not touching you…I wasn’t sure you wanted me to. I don’t want to accidentally trigger you.”
Of all the things I’d been expecting him to say, that wasn’t one of them.
“I remembered what you said about not liking to shake hands,” he added hastily. “Given what you’ve been through tonight, I didn’t want to add any unnecessary stress.”
“You touched me earlier.” He hadn’t just touched me, he’d lifted me from the floor and carried me across the room. If I hadn’t been hovering on the edge of a full-blown anxiety attack at the time, I would’ve marvelled at his strength.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he said, his voice low. “I hated seeing how much you were suffering. I had to try something. IfI’d thought my touch was making it worse, I would’ve let you go in a heartbeat.”
“It was a smart move. Touch grounds me when I’m anxious.” I was sure this had come up in one of our conversations.
“I remember. But you also said it only works with people you feel comfortable with.”
“I feel comfortable with you.” It wasn’t until the words left my mouth that I realised how true they were. Zeke might’ve only physically been in my life for less than an hour, but emotionally, he’d been a part of it for much longer. “You don’t need to worry about touching me. If I’m feeling like I’m approaching a limit, I’ll let you know.”
“Good.” He exhaled sharply, cupping my jaw. “Because if I go another second without my hands on you, I might explode.”
“Please don’t do that. That’d be a hell of a mess and definitely would set off some triggers for me.” I pretended to consider it, trying not to focus on how right it felt to have him touching me. “I’d probably be better off burning the entire house down.”
Zeke leaned forwards, his lips just inches from mine. “No exploding here, I promise. And, trust me, I was in the wrong earlier. If I’d have ended things with you, it would’ve been the biggest regret of my life. There’s nothing I want more than to explore things with you.”
My heart was racing again, but it wasn’t from fear this time. It was because of the words he was saying. How much I wanted to believe them.
His mouth was almost touching mine when a thought hit me, making me groan.
Zeke pulled back immediately, removing his hand and stepping away. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“No,” I muttered, rearranging myself in my pyjama trousers. “Of course my fucking brain had to pickthat exact momentto remind me.”
“Remind you of what?” Zeke sounded distracted, his gaze unashamedly fixed on my bulge.
Desperate as I was to feel Zeke’s lips against mine, now wasn’t the right time. Not while I was surrounded by the chaos of the night, without knowing what was awaiting me when I left this room. “I need to see what the damage is downstairs.”
“Oh.” Zeke’s gaze snapped up. “I imagine my friends will have tidied it all up, but we can go and see.”
He cleared his throat and stood back slightly. He tried to hide it, but I caught a glimpse of the rejection in his eyes. A feeling I’d known all too well in my life.
Like fuck was I having Zeke feel that way because of me.
Grabbing his hand, I tugged until he looked back at me. “Hey, it’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you. It’s just…it’s just not the right moment.”
Zeke smiled. “Of course. I shouldn’t have presumed?—”
“You should presume.” Feeling brave, I pressed his hand against my still erect cock, giving him plenty of time to pull away if he didn’t want this. “I want you, Zeke. I do. But this…this is a lot to process. I need to get my head on straight before anything happens.”
Zeke smiled, his fingers twitching once against my erection before he withdrew them. “That’s fair. You can take as much time as you need, Sam. I’ll be waiting when you’re ready.”
I bit my lip. Really, I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to be thinking about. Did Zeke want to just hook up? Or did he want something more serious?
I knew what I wanted. I think I’d wanted it since our very first conversation.