Page 7 of Chasing Amber

After staring at the bathroom door for a minute, I move in that direction and knock. “Amber…”

“Go away. Jesus…”

“I’m not going anywhere. I want you to talk to me.”

She growls loudly. “Grrr. That ain’t happening, so go away.”

“Why are you so upset? Are you embarrassed? You have no reason to be embarrassed.”

“Go. Away. Isaac,” she shouts.

“Amber… You can’t stay in there forever. I’ve made dinner. Your favorite. I thought you were feeling out of sorts after seeing Millie, so I made mac and cheese.”

“I’m not a fucking child, Isaac,” she yells.

I draw in a breath and swipe my hand down my face again. This is a mess. “No, baby, you are definitely not a child. I’m well aware.” I wince. I’ve never called herbaby. What the fuck am I doing? I’ve never used a single term of endearment with Amber. I work for her. I’m not…her Daddy.

I may have had secret thoughts of being her Daddy about two hundred thousand times, but I’m not, and I have no right to call herbaby. Except I did, and it’s too late to take it back. We’re going down this rabbit hole, and frankly, I’m scared out of my mind.

I do not want to rock this boat. I do not want to risk this precarious relationship I have with Amber. I’ve never once had the balls to do so. She’s embarrassed and panicking. But what she doesn’t understand is so am I.

Amber is my world. I’ve known that from the moment I took this job as her bodyguard. I was leery before I met her. I had a long meeting with Spence and Ben, during which I’d learned thatAmber was more than a handful. They’d warned me she would challenge me, but the pay was too good to turn down.

I’m a forty-five-year-old man, and I thought I’d seen everything, but I was wrong. Amber was a handful as soon as I stepped into her life. She made it abundantly clear that she did not need or want a bodyguard. She gave me the slip twice on the first day. I was exhausted by the time I went home that night, and I even considered telling her brother it wasn’t worth it.

But I’m not a quitter, and something about her called to me from the first time I set eyes on her. She’s lonely. She’s sad. She has her brother and Ben. She has Cassandra now. She has work acquaintances at the galleries where her art is sold. But Amber is shut off from the world. She does not open up to anyone. Not even me.

For a year, I worked ten-hour days keeping track of this naughty girl, turning her over to someone else at night and on weekends. Fifty hours a week. At the end of the first week, I wandered through my weekend feeling lost. I couldn’t even remember what I’d done on weekends before I’d met her.

Amber moves around a lot. A year ago, when she moved into this apartment, Spence pulled me aside and asked if I would consider moving in with her. He offered me a ridiculous sum of money to do so. He begged me.

Amber doesn’t know this, but I agreed to move in with her without the pay increase. There’s no reason for me to be a gold digger. Hell, I don’t even pay my own rent anymore. I have zero expenses, a pension from the Army, and Spence pays me a hefty salary, which I’ve never touched. In fact, it’s invested with Golden Alliances, the investment firm Spence owns.

I still took time off on weekends for a while, but I slept in Amber’s apartment when I wasn’t on duty. Eventually, I stopped going out at all. I haven’t been to Surrender in months. I haven’t Daddied anyone since I met Amber.

I’m pitiful. If I had my own therapist, it would take them two months to sort me out. My life revolves around a woman I’m in love with who has never let her guard down in front of me. A woman who does her best to make it clear that she doesn’t even like me or tolerate me most days.

And yet…I won’t quit. It’s what she wants. I’ve psychoanalyzed Amber for so long that I know her better than Millie. She only sees Millie one hour every other week. I’m with her every hour of every day. I know my girl.

She’s sad and lonely and scared on the inside. She puts up an outward façade that makes her look feisty and in control, but it’s a fraud. I don’t know why she’s so closed off from the world. I mean, I get that her parents died when she was fifteen, and her twenty-year-old brother Spence became her guardian, but that was fifteen years ago. She could have been traumatized by their death. Any teenager would be, but after years of therapy, why is she so reclusive?

Granted, she was kidnapped and held for ransom for four days when she was twenty. That’s so horrifying I can’t even imagine what she went through. I’ve never asked. I wouldn’t want to upset her. I only know the facts Spence and Ben shared with me and what I was able to google.

Honestly, Ben knows more than anyone because he was the one Spence hired to find and rescue her. He was the one who pulled her out of a basement and saw the conditions she’d been living in. He was the one who stalked the address and hired a team to go in and rescue her without involving the police until after he got her out. It was risky, but it was probably the best option.

I can’t explain how I feel. It’s irrational. No man would have stuck around as long as I have for a woman who has not shown any signs of opening up for two fucking years.

But Amber is mine. She’s my Little girl. I will crack her open, eventually. Unless things have suddenly gone so fubar that she fires me and sends me packing tonight. That’s not out of the realm of possibilities.

She hasn’t made a peep since I called herbaby. I lick my lips and try again. “Amber, I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to have to open this door eventually.”

“Nope. I have water, a toilet, and a shower. I can stay in here pretty long.”

“Are you going to eat toothpaste?” I tease.

“If I must. Go away.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not ever, baby…”

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