Page 8 of Chasing Amber

I hear her breath hitch.

“You’re stuck with me.” I have no idea if I’m making the right decision here or not, but I’m in so deep I think I should keep going. “Do you think I care if you read in the back of your closet, Amber?”

No response.

“Well, I don’t. I think it’s a great idea. It’s like a blanket fort. It’s cozy and safe. A wonderful place to escape the world. A brilliant coping mechanism.”

“I don’t need a fucking coping mechanism, asshole. I’m fine.”

I find myself grinning. She’s never called me asshole. I feel like we’re making progress. I’ve called herbaby,and she’s called measshole. Progress.

“Everyone needs to escape from life now and then. I bet you had a rough session with Millie earlier and needed downtime. That’s perfectly normal.”

“You don’t know everything, smart ass.”

I chuckle, trying to keep it quiet. I don’t want her to think I’m laughing at her. “That’s true. I don’t know everything. I’m not a clairvoyant. But I know a lot of things. Want me to list them?”

“No,” she shouts.

Right, because that would open wounds and force her to face things she’d rather ignore, but we’re doing it anyway. I’m in charge here. I have a captive audience. As long as she’s holed up in the bathroom, she can’t escape me. It’s perfect.

“I know you put on a brave front for everyone, but inside, you’re nervous about Jacob Marone being released. Anyone would be. I’d be concerned if you weren’t.”

“I’m not fucking scared of Jacob Marone, jerk face,” she shouts.

Jerk face… That’s a new one. Asshole came from adult Amber. Jerk face is coming from her Little. Is she feeling Little right now? No fucking way I’m going to point it out.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Amber, because I won’t let it. You know that, right?”

“You’re not invincible, you giant turd monger.”

I stifle another chuckle. Turd monger…

“True, and I can’t promise we won’t get hit by a bus or this building won’t collapse in an earthquake, but those things are unlikely. In the meantime, I will never let my guard down. I want you to be safe.”

“You’re paid to keep me safe, moron.”

The name-calling list is growing.

“Do you think I would walk away from you if I weren’t being paid?”

“Of course you would, jerk face,” she shouts. “I don’t know why you would stay for any amount of money. Why are you still here? I don’t want you here. I don’t need a keeper. I’m fine on my own. I don’t need someone all up in my space all the time. No one is going to kidnap me. My brother is over the top. Why don’t you quit and go away?”

I know she doesn’t mean a word of that, and she will not get under my skin. “I wouldn’t leave you if your brother never paidme another dime. I will not walk away no matter what happens, Amber. I care about you.”

“That’s stupid.” I can hear her Little in her voice. It’s shaking, and the pitch is off. She’s never shown me her Little. I doubt she’s even shown herself, but I’d bet money she’s got her arms crossed and a giant pout on her face.

“I don’t think it’s stupid.”

“Well, it is, blockhead. No normal person would put up with what you do. Why haven’t you left?” There’s anger and hope in her voice. We are getting somewhere.

How far do I take this? I can’t let too many seconds go by before I respond. I don’t want her to think I need to ponder my response, but what can I say to get my point across that won’t end with me in the street? Telling her I’m in love with her would be going way too far. I have to take it down a notch. “Because you’re my girl, Amber.”

Silence. Long silence.

I wait. She needs to think and process. Finally, she speaks in her tiny, Littlest voice. “You don’t mean that.”

Yes.

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