Page 48 of Chasing Amber

I’m sobbing, but I try to control myself, eventually reduced to sniffles with the occasional hiccup.

Isaac…Daddy. He’s my Daddy now. His brows are furrowed. He looks scared. “Tell me what happened, baby.”

I swallow. “I was back in that basement,” I mutter. “I couldn’t stop the visions.”

“Because I spanked you?”

I frown. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Did they hit you, baby? Did your captors strike you?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He rolls me closer. “Baby…”

“I think…” I lick my lips. “I think when I’m alone, and there’s nothing to occupy my mind, it wanders back to that basement.”

“Okay.” He strokes my forehead. “No more timeouts for you.”

I draw in a breath. “I think…” I’m not sure how to explain what I’m feeling. “I think you stopped too soon.”

“Stopped what, baby?”

“Stopped spanking me. I was so close to…”

He hesitates. “Crying?”

I nod. What’s wrong with me?

“I didn’t want to push you that far for your first spanking.”

“I think I needed it. I still need it. I need to let it out. You can help me. You can spank me until I cry.”

He holds my gaze. I can tell he’s reluctant.

I sit up on his lap. “Please, Daddy. Spank me again. Don’t stop this time. I need you to chase away the demons.”

“Baby…”

“Please… Daddy, please.” I know I’m right. I know this will work. I was so close. I could feel the edge of that blissful release I would have gotten. If he had kept spanking me, I would have moved past the arousal and started crying.

“Why don’t we explore that option another day? We can talk about it first.”

I shake my head and grab the front of his T-shirt. “I need it now. I promise I’m in my right mind.” I know the rules at Surrender. I’m not drunk or on drugs. I know what I need. I’ve never understood it until this moment, but it’s as clear as day to me now.

Daddy lifts me and stands me on my feet. He cups my face. His gaze lowers to my chin.

“The cut is fine, Daddy. I promise.”

He gives a slight nod.

“Spank me.”

“Okay, baby,” he murmurs as he guides me to his side again and helps me onto his lap.

It’s not as scary this time. This isn’t a punishment spanking. He said I could ask if I needed a spanking, and that’s what I’ve done. I settle over him with less fear and trepidation. I nestle my cheek against my arms, careful to avoid catching my chin.

Daddy pushes the T-shirt up my back, and I spread my legs a few inches. I’m not feeling sexual right now, though. I want to feel the pain.

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