Page 15 of Demented

Noir’s father, Aksel, looked so much like Noir, ridiculously so. They looked the same age. It was eerie. They could be twins, except where Noir always appeared bored, Aksel looked cold. His cool stare cut right through people. He was a king in every way. Even if Lazarus hadn’t known that, he still would have known. The guy was regal. He knew he was above everyone in the room, including his son. Lazarus was less than the dirt beneath his boot.

“I hear you carried my son from a nightclub like a bag of trash.”

Well, fuck. He had done that. “I did.”

Aksel narrowed his eyes. “That’s it? You did? No excuses?”

Lazarus refused to apologize. “I did what had to be done. He was somewhere he shouldn’t be with someone he shouldn’t have been with. I remedied the situation.”

Not a single muscle twitched in Noir’s face. He sat like a stone while Aksel stared at Lazarus with a hard expression.

Finally, Aksel snorted before roaring with laughter. He glanced Noir’s way and said something in a foreign language.

Noir’s eyes swam with laughter. He focused on Lazarus. “He says I should marry you now before someone else does.”

Lazarus’ throat swelled so hard and fast, his head swam. He didn’t know if Noir laughed at the ridiculousness of the idea or if he was simply relieved by his father’s reaction. Either way, Lazarus couldn’t let the moment pass.

“You should.”

At the seriousness of Lazarus’ tone, Noir’s smile fell. “Wait. Are you serious?”

Before Lazarus could answer, Aksel slapped his knees and stood. “Now isn’t the time. This is a holiday. One of the very few where I get to see you. Let’s eat and then open presents. I’m sure there’s at least one person ready to sneak a picture of our happy family.”

Noir stood and straightened his jacket, falling back into royal mode. “Of course.”

Lazarus studied Noir’s expression as he stood. Before heading to Noir’s home country, Noir had called in his tailor to make Lazarus look as much the part as possible. Now his suit chafed,and he was overheated. His tie felt too tight, and he couldn’t breathe. But still, Lazarus only had eyes for Noir. He needed to know what thoughts rattled in his head. Lazarus wanted to force Noir to tell him where they were headed. Unfortunately, Noir avoided his gaze as he headed for the formal dining room where his family’s guests waited. They had already been cooling their heels for too long while Aksel met Lazarus properly and without witnesses. It had been a stressful morning. Now Lazarus had all these thoughts in his head, making insecurities grow. Maybe Noir didn’t want to get married. He understood things weren’t cut and dry due to Noir’s position, but fuck. Lazarus was willing to do whatever it took. Surely, Noir knew that by now. That left only one conclusion. Noir didn’t want this. Where the fuck was he supposed to go with that?

Noir watched Lazarus's mood blacken by the minute. His expression turned so scary, people made a wide berth. Occasionally, he would catch Noir’s eye and soften a hair, but then he was back to glowering at everyone. Noir didn’t know what he had done. Lazarus’s mood dampened his plans. He didn’t give two fucks if everyone was terrified of Lazarus. His father loved that about him. Noir loved that about him. He was sexy as hell when he looked ready to kill. Lazarus had Noir ready to rip off his clothes. He also had Noir worried. Maybe getting a firsthand look at royal life was enough to convince him this wasn’t what he wanted. There was a lot of pompand circumstance that went with major holidays. They weren’t gathered around the tree with hot cocoa. Everything they did was watched and judged. Their day would be aired to the public. He thought he might hyperventilate. Noir tried hard to smile when appropriate and be stoic when it wasn’t. He couldn’t take his eyes off Lazarus and his barely contained temper. It felt like the day would never end. By the time they were allowed to escape to their private quarters, Noir wanted to tear off his skin. He ground his back teeth on the walk. Noir barely made it until the door closed behind them before he turned on Lazarus.

“Spill.”

A line appeared between Lazarus’ eyebrows. “Spill what?”

Noir peeled off his coat before making an impatient gesture. “Whatever has you trying to kill everyone with one glance. All day, you’ve looked ready to fly into a rage. If this is too much for you, you can say it. I know asking you to come here was asking a lot more than you likely signed up for. There are things I have no choice about. I totally get that you do. I completely understand how overwhelming this must be.”

“What in the hell are you talking about? This is exactly what I signed up for. Do you think I’m dumb? I knew loving you meant playing a part when needed.”

“Then why are you so angry?”

Lazarus’ chest expanded as he drew an audibly deep breath. “You don’t want to marry me.” The words burst from Lazarus asif he knew if he didn’t just say it, then he never would. He even winced afterward, as if he hated how he sounded.

Noir blinked. “What?”

Lazarus’ shoulders fell. He peeled off his jacket and tossed it on the settee next to Noir’s. “It’s stupid. Never mind. I love you and it shouldn’t matter. It just stung a little when you reacted the way you did to your dad’s joke. You obviously took it as just that: a joke.” He finally met Noir’s stare again. “It’s not a joke to me. I love you and I want to marry you, but I get it. I’m me.” He motioned toward himself. “You’re you.” He motioned toward Noir, as if that should explain everything. “You’re right. I’m not good enough for this.”

Noir couldn’t stop blinking while his mind tried processing the complete idiocy of every word Lazarus said. “Well, fuck.” Nothing ever went smoothly with them. “You’re kind of fucking up my Christmas right now.”

Lazarus’ expression turned thunderous. “I’m sorry. You asked. If you didn’t want to know how I feel, why in the fuck did you start this?”

A smile exploded across Noir’s face. He really loved this ridiculously angry and abrasive man. He shook his head. “No.” He held up one finger, asking Lazarus to wait. Noir grabbed his jacket and dug through the pocket. “You’re ruining my plans for you for Christmas.” Noir dropped to one knee and opened the ring box he had planned to give Lazarus later tonight.

Lazarus focused on the ring.

Noir didn’t give him time to respond. He needed to at least get to ask properly. “I’d planned a romantic dinner tonight. You know, the whole by a roaring fire on Christmas night thing. But I won’t have you walking around thinking I don’t love you more than life. I can’t let you believe I don’t want forever with you. Will you marry me?”

Lazarus didn’t respond.

A nervous laugh rumbled from Noir. “I know I’m young, but I don’t really kneel for anyone, and this floor is hard. Even without bad knees, this is rough. You’re allowed to say no; just do it quickly. I’d rather get bruises on my knees the fun way.”

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