Page 32 of Hook, Line and Single

‘And that’s our Robin, from Surrey. Come round, Robin, and meet your date.’

As Robin appears, I recognise him from the first bio I looked at in the booklet. Sam is evidently delighted as she practically throws herself into his arms.

‘May I ask a presumptuous question?’ Cameron says as the audience whoops and cheers.

‘As long as I reserve the right not to answer it,’ I reply.

‘I couldn’t help noticing your amber badge and, if I understand the traffic light system properly, that means that, like me, you’re not looking for a relationship at the moment.’

‘That’s right.’

‘Do you mind me asking what you’re planning to do now that your friend is going to be off with Robin tomorrow?’

‘I don’t know. I confess I hadn’t really thought about it.’

‘Tell me to get lost if you like, but I don’t have any concrete plans either, so if you’d like to buddy up to see Messina, I’d be more than happy to accompany you for the day. You’d be doing me a favour, actually. There’s a lady over there called Ashleigh who I suspect has definite designs on me, despite my amber badge, so I could do with rescuing.’

My first reaction is to do what I would normally do and tell him that Ashleigh isn’t my problem and I’ll be just fine by myself, thank you very much, but I look into his face and I’m certain that, unlike slimy Guido, he’s not trying it on. And, although we’ve only exchanged a few words this evening, he seems easy to talk to.

‘Sure,’ I say recklessly, giving him a smile. ‘Why not?’

12

‘So, I had a look at your bio last night,’ I say to Cameron as we disembark into the Sicilian heat. Although the cruise line has lots of tours on offer, Cameron and I have decided to do our own thing. Sam was initially riddled with guilt that she was going to be abandoning me so early in the cruise, and I confess I did let her wallow for a little while during our delicious dinner in the Italian restaurant before telling her that I’d made alternative arrangements, although I didn’t mention that they included Cameron.

‘I would have expected nothing less,’ he tells me with a smile. ‘I studied yours as well. Tell me about your bookshop.’

Our conversation flows easily as we head towards Messina cathedral to have a look at the astronomical clock and hopefully climb the tower before the main tourist hordes arrive. I tell him about my life in Margate, and he listens carefully and asks questions.

‘I think I’ve been past it a few times,’ he says when I explain where the bookshop is. ‘Margate is part of my patch, and I have a few customers in the town.’

‘Customers?’ I ask with a smile. ‘I thought you were a police officer.’

‘I’m with Kent Police, yes. I’m a firearms enquiry officer.’

‘What does one of those do?’

‘It’s easiest to explain with an example. Let’s say you decided you wanted to buy a shotgun.’

‘Unlikely, but OK.’

‘It’s not that unlikely. You’d be amazed by some of the people who own shotguns. Anyway, you fill out the relevant application forms and get your doctor to certify that you haven’t been treated for any mental health conditions that might bar you from owning a gun. That all lands on my desk. I’ll come and visit you, have a chat about what you plan to use the gun for and generally make sure there aren’t any red flags. I’ll also check that you’ve got a safe place to keep it, all that kind of thing. If I’m satisfied, I’ll issue you with a shotgun licence and you’re good to go.’

‘Really? And there are enough people in Kent packing weaponry to make this a full-time job?’

‘There are enough people in Kent packing weaponry to keep three of us busy.’

‘Bloody hell. I thought it was illegal to possess a gun.’

‘No. The rules are very strict, especially with regards to firearms, which is things like rifles and pistols. If you wanted to own something like that, you’d need to provide a pretty compelling reason. But with shotguns, the onus is on us to prove you’re not a proper person before we can deny you a licence.’

‘Have you ever had to do that? Deny someone a licence?’

‘Oh, lots of times. I’ve had people swear blind they’re fit and healthy, only for the doctors’ report to contradict them. The most tragic are the ones who’ve owned guns for years but their mental health deteriorates to the point we have to turn their renewals down. These guns are often family heirlooms, so it’s like parting them from a favourite pet. I’ve had grown men in tears.’

‘And what do people use these guns for? I’m still not wild about the idea that lots of my neighbours are armed to the teeth.’

‘Clay pigeon shooting is the most popular thing by far. There are centres all over Kent and they’re all well subscribed. There are a few who do game shooting, and the farmers, of course. Most of them have at least one shotgun, and often a couple of rifles as well.’

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