Page 29 of Hook, Line and Single

‘Not much. He seems very pleased with himself.’

‘Ugh.’ She wrinkles her nose. ‘I must have been talking to him for nearly quarter of an hour. Actually, scrap that.Hewas talking tomefor quarter of an hour. How many questions do you think he asked me, besides my name?’

I smile. ‘Brad seems like the kind of guy who could happily monologue about himself for hours, so I’m going to guess none.’

‘Yup. God, he was dull. Anyway, then I moved on to Chris.’

‘Was he the one you were talking to just now?’

‘Yes. He did have the decency to ask a couple of questions, at least.’

‘He seemed very taken with your chest, from what I was able to see. Every time he thought you weren’t looking, he was staring at your cleavage.’

‘Yeah, I spotted that. I wanted to grab his chin, lift it up and say, “Oi, mate. My eyes are up here, on my face.” He’s not the first person to do it though, so I’m not going to hold it against him.’

‘He might like that.’

‘What?’

‘You “holding” it against him.’

‘Eeuw. Anyway, slim pickings so far, but there are plenty of other fish in this pond, so I’m still optimistic.’ She glances at my chest. ‘I thought you were going to get Barry to give you a red badge?’

I sigh. ‘I tried. Turns out red badges are only for people who’ve coupled up with someone else in the group.’

‘Really? It didn’t mention that in the handbook.’

‘Barry’s rules, apparently.’

‘Hmm. Well, I’m glad you came. Shall we go and get something to eat?’

Before we have a chance to make our escape, Barry claps his hands to try to get everyone’s attention. It takes a few goes before everyone is silent and he can make his announcement.

‘Right, lovely singles,’ he yells. ‘Hopefully you’ve started to get to know each other a little, because we’re going to up the ante tomorrow. When you’re back from your shore excursions, we’re all going to assemble in here for a game of Blind Date.’

‘Uh-oh,’ I murmur to Sam.

‘It will take the same format as the famous TV show, hosted by the peerless Dame Cilla Black,’ Barry continues. ‘How many of you know it?’

Only a couple of hands go up.

‘Dear Lord, talk about a blast from the past. Do you remember it?’ Sam says to me.

‘Yes. My parents were avid watchers back in the day.’

‘The format is simple,’ Barry explains. ‘I will be choosing one woman and one man at random from those of you with green badges. You will need to bring along three searching questions to ask your potential matches. I’ll also be picking three ladies and three gentlemen to be the potential blind dates. You’ll be behind a screen so you can’t be seen, and you’ll need to answer the questions in as romantic a fashion as you can. At the end, the person asking the questions will get to choose one of you to go on a blind date. I’ve organised for the two lucky couples to do aGodfathermovie tour from Messina. You’ll be collected from the port and taken to Savoca to see the filming location for the wedding, as well as a number of other iconic locations used in the movie. I’ve even thrown in a sumptuous lunch, so it’s a prize worth winning. Before I let you go, do any of you amber badges want to change colour so you’ve got a chance of being included?’

Sam grabs my hand and tries feverishly to shove it in the air, but I’m too strong for her, thankfully. A couple of hands do go up though, and Barry delightedly hands over green badges.

‘OK, lovely people,’ he chants. ‘Enjoy your dinner, have a fabulous time in Naples tomorrow, and I’ll see you back here for our fun and games at 6p.m. sharp. Contestants, I’ll let you know if I’ve selected you by leaving a note in the holder outside your cabin before ten tonight. Good luck, everyone!’

‘Do you think Barry is like a clown?’ Sam asks me as we start to make our way towards the main dining room. We deliberately held back until Brad had left so we could keep an eye on him and make sure we didn’t end up sitting with him.

‘How do you mean?’

‘He’s so relentlessly cheerful, like he’s on happy pills or something. Do you think he’s secretly crying inside?’

‘Maybe he just loves his job. I wonder how many couples actually come out of these things?’

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