Page 28 of Hook, Line and Single

‘It’s our missing traveller!’ Orange Barry cries in delight when I arrive. ‘Although you haven’t got your badge with you, tut tut.’

‘I forgot it, sorry. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. Can I swap it for a red one, please?’

His eyes widen. ‘Really? You’ve found someone already? Who is it?’

‘No, I haven’t found anyone. I’m just not in the market.’

He tilts his head quizzically. ‘But you signed up for the Friends of Marco Polo.’

‘Technically, I didn’t,’ I explain. ‘My friend Sam signed me up without my knowledge.’

‘But you’re single, yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘Phew. That really would have been an awkward conversation. We take a dim view of infiltrators.’ He smiles conspiratorially as he says it, but I can’t help thinking he’s actually being serious.

‘So what would have happened if I’d actually been in a relationship?’ I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

‘That would make you ineligible for our group, and you’d be charged the full single occupancy of a double cabin supplement,’ he says, this time leaving me in no doubt that he means it.

‘Just as well I’m single then, isn’t it. But I’m really not looking for a relationship, Barry, so can I just have a red badge please?’

He changes to a sorrowful expression that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Sorry, sweetie,’ he says. ‘My group, my rules. You only get a red badge if you’ve coupled up exclusively with someone else in the group. Here’s an amber one. Try to remember to bring it in future. I have got lots, but it’s not an inexhaustible supply. Now, go and meet people. I’ve reserved some tables in the main restaurant for us all, so you’ve got plenty of time to get to know someone.’

I may have already had a glass of wine at the sail away party, but something tells me this is going to be a long evening, so I make my way over to the bar to get a drink. On the way, I spot Sam deep in conversation with a man, although his attention seems to be focused more on her chest than her face, from what I can see. No sooner have I secured a glass of wine than I’m approached by another member of the group, who I notice is wearing a green badge.

‘Hi, I’m Brad,’ he says in a broad American accent, holding out his hand. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not coming on to you. What’s your name?’

‘Ruby,’ I say politely.

‘And whereabouts are you from, Ruby?’

‘The UK. Kent.’

‘I know Kent. I’m from California, but I live in London at the moment. I’m an expert in distribution centres, so my work takes me all over. Before London, I was in Australia for six months. Have you ever been?’

‘No, sorry.’

Brad doesn’t appear daunted by my lack of travel experience, and I gently tune him out as he begins to tell me about all the places he’s visited. After a while, I notice Sam detaching herself from the chest-staring guy and start scanning the room. When she notices me, she beams and comes straight over.

‘Ruby!’ she exclaims, cutting Brad off mid-flow. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you until dinner, but I’m so glad you’re here.’ She takes my arm and turns to Brad. ‘I hope you’ll excuse us for a moment, Brad.’

If Brad is disappointed, he’s doing a good job of hiding it. ‘Of course. I’ll see you around, Ruby.’

I can safely say that I’ve never been more delighted to see Sam, and I happily link my arm with hers as we stroll over to an unoccupied table in the corner of the room.

11

‘What made you change your mind?’ Sam asks. ‘I thought you said wild horses wouldn’t drag you here.’

‘Yeah, but then I met Guido.’ I tell her about feeling a bit out of place at the sail away party, and Guido’s come-on. She’s reassuringly horrified.

‘He sounds like a total loser,’ she asserts when I’ve finished telling the story.

‘Yeah, I was a bit creeped out, so I decided to come and hang out here for safety. How have you been getting on?’

She lowers her voice. ‘What did you make of Brad?’

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