Page 15 of Hook, Line and Single

‘Then it would be when you and I went to Cornwall last year.’

‘Exactly. I’ve been getting it in the neck from my boss at work, because apparently travel agents are supposed to travel more than I have been, so I think we should go on holiday. Give me a break from trying to find Mr Right, and you a break from listening to me moan about the latest Mr Wrong.’

I study her for a moment, trying to work out if this is Sam floating a vague idea, or whether she’s already decided on the itinerary and is just going to sell it to me so she can book it.

‘What did you have in mind?’ I ask carefully.

Before she has a chance to answer, the waiter delivers our amuse bouches, two small teacups filled with a pale orange liquid.

‘From the chef,’ he tells us. ‘Essence of Tomato.’

I take a sip, and it’s heavenly. The flavour is like tomato on speed, but it’s also delicate.

‘Oh, wow,’ Sam breathes as she sets down her cup. ‘Maybe I’ll cancel the rest of my order and just have a couple of gallons of this.’

‘Perhaps you should invite Threesome Pete round more often,’ I suggest. ‘If I get dinner here every time he comes, I might just about be able to put up with him.’

‘No,’ she says firmly. ‘No more Threesome Pete and no more preachy church people. Actually, how do you think they’d react to him?’

‘I think they’d implode,’ I laugh. ‘Can you imagine if they had the ability to do a mental X-ray to check your sexual health? His would be a living porno movie.’

‘I must have been out of my mind. Anyway, holiday. How do you feel about a cruise?’

‘Umm, aren’t they really expensive and for old people?’ I ask.

‘Not any more. There are all sorts of cruises now, for every age group and price bracket. I mean, none of them are particularly cheap, but I reckon I can get us a deal through work.’

‘I don’t know,’ I tell her. ‘It sounds like a faff. Don’t you have to dress up in the evenings, and hobnob with the captain and stuff like that? Can’t we just go somewhere and lie on a beach?’

‘Oh yeah, that would work really well with my skin tone,’ she says sarcastically. ‘Cruises are a really good way of seeing a variety of places in a comparatively short time, without having to pack and unpack all the time. There’s a ten-day one on the Mediterranean I thought would suit us. I’ll show you some pictures of the ship if you like. It looks lovely.’

OK, this is a fully fledged idea then. She pulls her phone out of her bag and fiddles with it for a while, before handing it over.

‘According to Janet, our cruise expert, Scandia Cruises are one of the top companies, and the ship I’m showing you is their newest one. It only launched last year.’

I scroll through the pictures and I have to admit that I’m impressed. TheSpirit of Malmöis basically a floating hotel, with a variety of places to eat and drink, a large sun deck with a pool, and spacious-looking cabins done out in a very Scandinavian style, with lots of light wood. When I get to the prices, however, my heart stops.

‘Howmuch?’ I ask incredulously.

‘It won’t be as much as that,’ Sam says quickly. ‘That’s the top-tier cabin, which we don’t need. And the price includes flights and all the food, so it’s not as expensive as it looks. We embark in Rome, then visit Naples, Sicily, Malta, Sardinia, Majorca, Barcelona, Cannes and Florence before returning to Rome. Where else would you be able to see all of that in ten days? What do you think?’

I look at the pictures again. It does look nice, and the idea of exploring all the places she mentioned is appealing.

‘Go on then,’ I tell her. ‘As long as the cost doesn’t break the bank and we can find someone to babysit for Samson, you’re on.’

‘Oh, I’ve sorted that,’ she says breezily. ‘I texted Em about it yesterday, and she jumped at the chance. She’s even offered to cover for you in the bookshop so Jono isn’t on his own. I think ten days away from your mum and dad was too tempting for her to resist.’

‘You are unbelievable!’ I exclaim. ‘What if I’d have said no?’

She grins. ‘Why on earth would you do that? I’m handing you a dream holiday on a plate. No faffing about with research or organisation because I’ve done it for you. All you have to do is cough up the money and have a great time.’

I smile. She’s right, so why do I still have the niggling feeling that I’ve been played?

6

‘A cruise?’ Jono asks dubiously when I tell him about it the next morning. ‘I don’t want to rain on your parade, Ruby, but that sounds like ten days cooped up with generation zimmer. Wouldn’t you rather spend the time lying on a beach somewhere, with a delicious barman serving you exotic cocktails?’

‘That sounds more like your fantasy,’ I reply. ‘Although I’m prepared to admit it’s not a bad one.’

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