Page 80 of The Scars of Us

I cleared my throat from the lust clogging it. “Come in.”

One of the other trainers walked in, holding a stack of papers in his hands. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were with a client. Can you come to my office when you’re finished?”

“Sure thing,” I replied, irritated at the interruption. We shouldn’t have been doing anything in the first place, but that wasn’t the point. I wanted as much of Kaiya as I could get. It didn’t matter where we were, even my work.

Once he left, my eyes ran over her, appraising her hungrily. “Now, where were we?”

There was no word to describe the elation I felt when I heard that Kaleb wasn’t going to be released. Joy, relief, and excitement all combined within me to form some amazing emotion I hoped I felt more of in the future. Everything was finally falling into place for me, and I was ready to move on with my life without Kaleb looming over me.

I was really nervous about going back to class on Tuesday following my meltdown, even after my talk with Ryker. Although I was afraid of facing everyone, I didn’t want to be ruled by my fear anymore. There was nothing I feared more than Kaleb, and now that he was out of the picture, I wanted to try and face any challenge presented to me.

Sitting in my car outside the gym, I took some deep breaths before getting out. The entire walk to the kickboxing room, I silently chanted,you can do this, you can do this.The whole situation might not have been a big deal to anyone else, but it made me so self-conscious that other people had a glimpse at my personal demons. I worked so hard to keep them private, and now everyone in class knew there was something wrong with me.

Stopping outside the door, I reached for the handle, but stilled before grabbing it. I noticed that my hand was shaking. I balled it into a fist to stop the trembling.What if they make fun of me?I laughed at myself.What am I in high school? Who cares if they make fun of me? It’s not like their opinions matter. Suck it up and quit being afraid.I took another deep breath, repeated my mantra again, and opened the door.

Avoiding eye contact, I searched for Ryker, needing his support if I was going to make it through class. If he wasn’t the instructor, I doubted I would have come back at all.

Our eyes met from across the room. His sexy smile sent warm tingles through my body, and my stomach flip-flopped, making me forget my apprehension about class.

He wore that grin as he approached me, wrapping his arms around me once he reached where I stood. Placing a kiss below my ear, he murmured in that deep, husky voice that I loved, “I missed you.”

Ryker hadn’t been hiding his affections for me for the past few weeks at class, so most of the students, if not all, knew that we had something going on. That was another reason I worried about returning—I didn’t want them to judge Ryker because of my actions. I was sure they already questioned why he was with me in the first place; hell, I asked myself that question daily. After witnessing my breakdown, they probably thought he was just as crazy to be with me.

“I missed you, too,” I softly replied, feeling my cheeks heat. Ryker still affected me the same way after almost six months, and I prayed that it never changed.

When he pulled away, I could feel the stares on us. I’d always hated that feeling, the one that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. But with the way Ryker was looking at me, I didn’t care about what anyone was thinking as they watched us. All that mattered was that look in his eyes, the one I first saw in the picture we took at the aquarium, the one I’d glimpsed on several occasions since; the one I was sure was evident on my face every single day.

I’d never been in love before, but I was never more certain of anything in my life than I was at that moment. I loved Ryker. But was I going to tell him? No. I was scared. My number one fear had gone from Kaleb being released to losing Ryker.

Telling him I loved him might chase him away. I knew that many guys ran when a girl said those three words, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Not willing to chance it, I decided to wait until he said it first. If he ever did.I hope he does.

Another student had started talking to Ryker, so I headed for my bag to get ready for class to start. I avoided making eye contact with anyone as I stretched out and slipped on my gloves.

As soon as my fists and legs hit the bag when we started the first combo, I was happy that Ryker convinced me to come back. I didn’t know why I thought I could give it up—kickboxing had become a part of me, just like Ryker had. Both made me feel stronger, more empowered… capable of anything. Even though I started taking the class to protect myself for when Kaleb was released, I couldn’t see myself giving it up now that he wasn’t.

Ryker came over as I was working on the second combo that he demonstrated. Those full lips of his tipped up playfully as he teased, “And you didn’t want to come back.”

Stopping, I rolled my eyes. “You were right. Thank you for making me come back.”

“I couldn’t let you give it up. Plus, I’d miss watching you work that amazing body of yours.” His voice had deepened, taking on the tone that meant he was getting turned on.

I let out a laugh before I pushed him away. “Stop distracting me.”

Backing up, he gave me a sexy pout, then headed to another student. I fought the butterflies he caused in my lower abdomen as I focused back on the bag.

Once the first part of class was over, we gathered as a group like always. When Ryker asked if anyone had requests for the next portion of class, I surprised everyone, including myself, when I raised my hand. Ryker gave me an inquisitive look, his eyebrows raising in surprise as he called on me. “Kaiya?”

I lowered my hand. “Can we learn how to defend against knife attacks?”

He smiled proudly at me, causing more butterflies to somersault in my stomach. “We can. Knives are easier for criminals to get their hands on than a gun, so many attacks involve a knife. Get with your partners.”

As Ryker walked toward me, he had a look of admiration on his face.

“What?” I asked with a shy smile as our eyes met.

“Just proud of you,” he grinned widely. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure. I want to know what to do if it happens again. I might not be so lucky the next time around.”

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