Page 119 of Dangerous Contract: Part 2

"You mean an astronaut?"

"Whatever the fuck you call them motherfuckers that fly around the galaxy," Raz yelled. "My life isn't the kind of life she needs."

"What if it's the life shewants?"

"It's not. It can't be. I won't let it be."

"Why do you get to decide what she wants?" Leo asked.

"What the fuck is up with you and Cas today? Focus on the road, Leo. Not my personal life."

"Whatever you say, boss."

They continued the rest of the drive in silence. But Leo's words stuck with him. Was Raz so busy focusing on what he wanted Monique's life to be like, that he wasn't considering the possibility that she'd be able to adapt to his life, even enjoy it?

Could she enjoy it? Not endure it, but be happy living with him in the shadows? She knew he was the don, yet she'd come to the casino wanting to see him, wanting to be with him. After everything she'd gone through, everything she'd lost, she'd still come to him.

Raz swallowed back tears. She lost her father, nearly lost her life, and she still wanted him. That was saying something. Still, she may think she could handle the baggage that came with him, but she didn't know that things could get much darker than what she'd already experienced.

If she came back to him, thinking they'd weathered the worst of it, then suddenly realized that wasn't the worst, what would he do then? Perhaps what Raz truly feared was spending his life by her side, watching her grow to hate this life, to hate him.

He feared watching the love and light slowly leave her eyes as she realized he wasn't the man for her. That was something he couldn't bear. Was that fear causing him to take the coward's way out, leave her before she could leave him? Was he... a coward?

"Fuck!" Raz yelled, slamming his fist against the back of the passenger seat.

He no longer knew why he was staying away from her. Was it for her, or was it because he was afraid of her falling out of love with him? Or... could it be that he was too ashamed to face her?

Ashamed of how things had ended up. Ashamed of himself because he hadn't protected her well. Ashamed for being wounded when she'd needed him the most. Was his fear and shame ruining their lives?

"You good, boss?"

"Yeah," Raz lied.

"Good, because we're here."

Fuck!Leo pulled the sleek black car up to the double doors of the Venetian Hotel in Biloxi, Mississippi. The hum of the car's engine was a distant drone compared to the whirlwind of emotions swirling in his mind.

Maybe he was rushing this decision to join his family with Miconi's. Maybe he needed to have a real conversation with Monique and let her know his thoughts and fears and listen to hers.

Why was he just now realizing he needed to do that? What the fuck was wrong with him? He'd known fear was a powerful emotion but never thought he could be controlled by it. With his heart racing, Raz realized he was on the brink of a panic attack. Dons didn't have panic attacks.

"Ahem."

The sound of Leo clearing his throat brought Orazio back to the present and grounded him a bit.

"What's wrong?" Raz asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.

Leo gave him a pointed look. "We're here."

"I see that," Raz countered.

"You need to go in and escort your date to the car."

Orazio frowned. "Why can't you do it?"

"It would be more gentlemanly if you did it yourself," Leo replied.

"Fuck being a gentleman. Go get her already," Orazio snapped, his frustration threatening to boil over. "Or leave herass here. I no longer give a fuck."Fuck the gala. I've got some shit to figure out.

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