Page 118 of Dangerous Contract: Part 2

"I've already lost her, brother. The truth is, I never should've dreamed of having her in the first place. I'm not... I'm not... worthy." Feeling choked up, Raz cleared his throat just as someone knocked on the door. "I've got to go, Cas."Thanks for making my night worse."I'll see you at the gala."

"Raz, we can keep them safe. We can..."

Raz hung up before his brother could present him with any more hypothetical questions that would further ruin his already fucked up evening. Raz was the don, not Prince Charming. He didn't have time to believe in fairytales. The knocks sounded again.

"Enter," Raz called out, straightening his tie one last time. Why the fuck was his hand trembling? Raz balled his hand into a fist, clenching tightly, waiting for the overwhelming feeling of... he didn't know what he was feeling. But he waited for it to pass.

Leo stepped in, his expression as stoic as ever. "It's time to go, boss. We need to pick up Miss Miconi."

He hadn't even left home yet and he was already over this entire evening, this entire damn event.

"I'll be right out."

Leo nodded and closed the door, leaving Orazio alone with his thoughts once more. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Damn Cas for bringing up Monique while Raz was desperately trying not to think about her.

He wouldn't be able to make it through this night if he had her on his mind, on his heart. The image of Monique's face flashed in his mind – her smile, her eyes filled with warmth and love – all the things he'd never see again.

Never was a long fucking time! How could he not mourn the life he wouldn't have? A life with her would be filled withpassion and joy. They'd never grow tired of one another. They'd challenge each other to always be better versions of themselves.

Every day with her would be unique and special. But it was a life he could never have. Because if he was in her life, then there would always be darkness lurking around the corner, ready to intrude on their happy life.

She'd live with a storm cloud over her head, never knowing when the rain would fall or when tornados would appear. Raz couldn't do that to her. He was tempted to take a chance on their love.

He was tempted to sayfuck it, I'm never letting her go.He believed he could protect her. But if he failed... if he failed... Raz squeezed his eyes shut, chest aching at the thought of her losing her life because of him.

No.That wasn't a risk he was willing to take. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Opening his eyes, Orazio squared his shoulders and walked out of the room, each step echoing the finality of his decision.

He would do what was necessary for his family, and he would do whatever it took to protect Monique, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. As he joined Leo in the hall and headed toward the car, Orazio resolved to get through the night without killing anyone.

He also hoped to get through the night without sneaking away from his security detail and his date and then showing up at Monique's house. Tonight, he would be on his best behavior. He'd be the perfect don, no matter how much it pained him to do so.

Tonight was just another task, another performance in the stage play that was his life. Raz stared out the window as Leo drove. In front of them was a security detail. Behind them was the second security detail.

Never alone!He was never alone. Yet, he'd never felt lonelier. Though he tried to keep his thoughts away from Monique, they kept drifting back to her. Leo didn't make things any better.

"Are you sure about this?" Leo asked.

Raz ignored him.

"You can protect her. You have plenty of uncles and cousins who are married, and their wives are safe."

"Most of their wives rarely leave the house. I've never even met some of their wives because my family keeps them hidden away to keep them safe. I won't do that to Monique."

"Bryce's mom goes places. I've seen her out."

"Bryce's mom can shoot better than me if she has to. She's what you call ruthlessly sweet. That woman is a silent killer. Don't let her kind smile and baking skills fool you."

"We can train Monique to shoot. We can..."

"I appreciate you being willing to help, Leo. I really do. But what kind of wedding gift is target practice? What kind of life would she lead being my wife? What if she wanted children in the future? Look at how Bryce turned out. Hell, look at me. I may look sane..."

"You don't."

"What?" Raz asked.

"You don't look sane," Leo told him.

"Fuck you, Leo. You know what I mean. Our child would be the future don. Not a doctor. Not a lawyer. Not a... uh...." What else could be considered a wholesome occupation? "Not a spaceship driver."

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