Page 83 of Collateral Damage

“Fuck me…” I nearly choke on her words as she whispers into my mouth only intensifying my throb, burning bright red with anxiety. “Ride mebaby.Show me how you hate me…”

She bucks her hips into me, pushing into my sweet spot to lift me up, giving us a gap as she takes her free hand, undoing her belt lazily and my heart beats faster. She's giving me some sort of control and I freeze, nervous to comply but she wastes no time pushing me down onto her cock, sliding in effortlessly as she catches my moan in her mouth. I sit down on her length until it fills me up, trying to catch my breath at the way she's stretching me out to fit all of her, but I relax, finding sick pleasure in the way I'm taking every inch and I soon loosen, giving me more movement to grind against her, blushing as she gazes up at me with pride.

“Fuckbaby-” She whispers and my breaths crack, seeing her underneath me, unable to feel anything yet it's like she feels everything, reacting to the way I'm driving her dick inside me with broken moans and fingers digging so deeply into my hipsthey may bruise tomorrow. I throw my hands to grab the back of the sofa as she grips my ass, pushing me down until I hiss with spite.I'm so full I can't see straight.

“Take me- take mePuppet. Such a good girl.” her praise only drives me harder, chasing it like it's keeping me breathing, doing as she says to hear it again, and again. She kisses me like it’s a reward for doing so well but I'm breaking as her split tongue lines my collar bones, nipping up my neck with this passionate hunger, biting harder as I begin to slide up and down around her strap, quickening my pace to grab that high I desperately crave. Letting her find her home inside me,where she belongs.

“Hurt meInnocence…” Her words cut down my ears and I want her to hurt. I want her to feel my rage. How angry it makes me that she won’t let me in. I dig my nails, applying more and more pressure into her shoulder blades but she doesn’t even notice, too dosed up on her high, moaning deeply against my skin, so divine I want to let go already as it rings through my muffled ears. She only allows me to inflict pain, not tenderness. She only knows physical pain, so if that's what she wants, I’ll give it to her.

I tug roughly on her bottom lip, biting her wound harder causing blood to pool into my mouth, riding her length deeper as she rumbles into my mouth, tasting herself on my tongue as it coats in copper. She’s like a vampire, drawing it from my mouth as she licks every inch, only pushing my orgasm to surface, whining to let go on her cock as I use her to release my frustrations knowing she wants me to ask for permission but I use her vulnerability to show her how I feel inside, how she makes want to scream and cry. How her resistance makes me hate myself for craving attention so toxic, so damaging yet she is the thing keeping me alive. She is like water. Something so capable of killing you, drowning you until your heart stops beating, but you need it to survive.I need her to survive.

Play - ‘Guest room - Echo’

“Don’t you dare-” She snaps. I don’t know how, but she can feel me close as I grip her skin until it's practically tearing. Giving in to my hate, ignoring her command, I cum all over her cock as I disobey her orders, making her feel my rage, denying her the way she denies me every damn day and it feels good. Her hazy gaze glares back at me, kissing her teeth in irritation, too tired to fight it as she watches me use her dick like a toy, resting her head on the back of the couch listening to me scream into the dead silence.

“Fuc-k You!...” I moan out, finishing off as I come down, pushing her in and out of me but the air is knocked from my lungs as she grabs my throat, squeezing tighter, tugging me to look into her state of fury and I try to swallow, suddenly glaring at someone else. Her entire demeanour shifts and her eyes become the storm, making my chest rattle like birds trying to get out of its wake, bulging in the sockets at her sudden strength. Like she's snapped back into reality, back to her incessant need to control everything around her.

“You shouldn’t have done that…” My heart constricts, peering death in the face as she licks the side of my cheek, smearing her blooded lip against my salty flesh, still heaving from my first orgasm trying to catch a breath but she doesn’t allow me. She squeezes tighter until I'm almost passing out before throwing me off her, gripping me by my scalp to throw me down, lying on the sofa underneath her as she crawl on top of me like a vice giving me no space to run as she forces herself inside me crying out at the sensitive ache as she rips me in half with her length. She claws my clothes off like an animal to access my body but I accustom to the throb quickly, quivering as she nails my sweet spot still sore, holding my leg up to push in deeper as I scream out in blissful pain but my palms retaliate, smashingagainst her solid frame in protest that is useless against the hold she has on me, physically and mentally.

“You want to hate me? Hate mebaby. Scream it. Let me fucking hear it.” She grips my chin, slapping me with enough force to hiss at the sting, pounding into my limp body mercilessly as she grabs my hand, forcing it on my clit.“Show me how I make you feel,baby. Fucking swear at me again.”

Her alcohol has clearly worn off, feeling her cup my throat with malice as I begin to play with my swollen pussy, rubbing it to ease the burn, quickly coating her in my arousal as she pushes me to my second orgasm. I should know by now one round never quenches her thirst for my body and that thought alone is tipping me to suffocate her cock.

“Fuck you! Fu-ck, YOU!” My staggered words break up the thick tension of hatred lingering in the air as we glare through one another, lost in the depths of our own pain, our own feelings that make no sense. None of this makes sense, but when we are this close it feels so right. She’s trying to make me resent her but she’s doing the complete opposite. She’s only showing me that I can’t function without her.

Unwanted tears creep up my throat, so mangled with broken emotions I’m cracking. Gasping as she goes even deeper, leaning in between my legs to kiss me dreadfully slowly only drawing out my cries with an overwhelming amount of pressure between my legs and in my heart. My free hand reaches for her throat, barely covering it but I grip anyway as her tongue searches for mine.

“You are the reason I breathe.” She whispers so full of frustration, spitting it through gritted teeth like she loathes it. Only confirming that I was right that day when she told me her plans had changed. That I am the reason she never went through with it. She is still here because of me. Yet she is still trying to deny her own heart of what it desperately craves. What it needs.

Love.

“Cum on my fucking cock.” Her anger consumes her, only making us both squeeze tighter on each other's airways through a patchwork kiss as I finally let go of everything, screaming into her mouth, letting her consume my fury like an entity. Making her absorb it. Feed on it. Her love language is suffering. So, I'll make her suffer. I’ll push her until she realises she needs me just as much as I need her.

C H A P T E R 49

GUILTY CONSCIENCE

Puppeteer

Iwake to the heavy weight of the sun blinding me through the kitchen window, trying to shift the stiffness in my face suddenly realising what the hell happened last night. I rub my eyes to adjust to the light as I drag my body weight to sit up, my face pulsing with a drilling ache, my lip throbbing feeling two times bigger.The prick got a good hit. I'll give him that.

I barely even remember getting home but I know someone is going to be mad at me. Rolling my eyes as I stare around the room, they land on the glass of water and painkillers on the coffee table with a little note stuck to the side.

I huff in amusement, squinting at the sting as I stretch out my wound from smiling before doing as I'm told and popping my pills. Not that it will make any difference. My face is busted, I'm going to need a lot more than a few painkillers, more like another bottle of J.D.

My feet find their strength, getting up to find the bathroom, rolling out my seized muscles as I make my way to the door.I really was a punching bag last night.I turn to see her already awake, standing in the doorway analysing her prep for her insulin, grabbing at her skin like there is something wrong with her and my jaw locks. I vaguely remember us fucking and an immediate wave of guilt washes over me.God dammit Hayden. I told you to lock yourself in the fucking truck.

Play - ‘Let Me Down - Jorja Smith, Stormzy’

“May I?” I speak calmly in hopes not to startle her but she still lightly jumps up off the bed. I need to push her away so she can let go but I don't know what the hell I said yesterday. She glares at me still full of this clearly bottled-up frustration.

“You sober?” She bites, looking dead in the eyes. I should have said something yesterday but I couldn’t. Not without hurting her further and I can't tell who’s feelings I'm protecting anymore,hers or mine.

Eventually she holds out the pen for me to take, reluctant to let go for a mere moment. I sit beside her and adorn the beautiful work of bodily art against her skin and the bridge of her nose as her freckles highlight the golden accents in her eyes, staring intensely at the saturated necklace around her throat I vaguely remember gifting her last night. I graze my fingertips against the flesh on her higher abdomen, curling my lip at the fact she is finally, after almost five months, letting me do this for her.

“I’m fine,Puppet.” She rolls her eyes and I can tell there are so many things she wants to say to me but she's holding back.“Does it hurt?”

I line the needle to push into her flesh and apply pressure, she doesn’t even blink.

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