“Hello?” The voice was formal and strange.
“Mom?” Josie gasped.
“Josie?” It was clear that her mother no longer had Josie’s number saved. Maybe she’d gotten a new phone. Or perhaps she’d deleted it. But it didn’t matter right now.
Suddenly, Josie’s face scrunched with fear, sorrow, and fatigue. Winnie had begun to whimper, and Josie set her down in the grass and watched her bob around. Tears drained from her eyes.
“Josie, why are you calling?” Her mother sounded more curious than anything.
Josie felt echoey with questions. Why had their parents abandoned them like that? Why hadn’t they left a note or sent a letter? Why had they pulled the rug out from under Tara like that?
Right now, they needed Winnie’s grandparents. They needed help.
Josie’s mind swirled with questions. Everything felt tremendously heavy, like big stones on her chest. “I just don’t understand,” Josie gasped. “I don’t understand why you did that.”
Her mother was quiet on the other end. Josie tried to imagine where she was. Another coast? Another island? Another planet? She hadn’t seen her mother’s face in four years, and already, her memory had begun to fade like an old photograph.
Her mother still hadn’t answered, but she was still there, waiting quietly.
“How could you leave like that?” Josie asked a final time.
Her mother sniffed. Was she crying? Was she capable of feeling anything?
“We just couldn’t do it anymore,” Cindy finally said. Her words were tear-filled and taut.
“Couldn’t do what?” Josie demanded.
“We just couldn’t do it. We didn’t know how,” Cindy said.
Josie’s head throbbed with confusion. How was it possible that she’d asked a question and ended up more confused?
“You didn’t know how to what? Be our parents?” Josie blared. “I mean, I would have expected that with me. But with Tara? You abandoned her when she needed you the most! You abandoned her when she stopped being the perfect daughter. You—”
But the line went dead because Cindy had hung up.
Josie stood beneath a gorgeous Nantucket blue sky and listened to the thud of her heart. Winnie picked a dandelion, held it up to her, and smiled. It was rare that the gardener allowed weeds like that to grow. But looking at the dandelion now, it was hard to believe anyone regarded such a brilliant flower as a weed.
“Where’s Mama?” Winnie asked.
“She’s busy, honey,” Josie said, picking Winnie up and carrying her toward the reception. She’d seen a few children at the ceremony. Maybe Winnie could make friends with them. Perhaps she’d slip in with the others, and everyone would be none the wiser about Winnie’s status as the wedding planner’s daughter. Winnie was social. She was happy. She was free from the constraints that sorrow brought upon you.
Josie put Winnie down near the cocktail hour and directed her toward the other children. Winnie scampered off and beganto play with another little girl’s other doll. Josie kept one eye on her at all times as she scurried around the reception area, checking with Tara on what needed to be done and making sure the bride was having the very best day. Tara was such a brilliant actress that when she noticed it was Winnie playing with the other little kids, she hardly flinched. It wasn’t till later, when Winnie, Tara, and Josie collapsed back at home, that Tara grimaced and said to Josie, “Thank you for improvising.”
Josie’s heart leaped. She considered telling Tara that she’d called Donnie and he’d been drunk. But then Tara said, “Donnie called me an hour ago. He got held up at work. He said he wrote a note about it but accidentally put the note in his back pocket. You know how Donnie gets. He’s stressed. We’re all stressed. But we’re making it work. For our future. For Winnie’s future. Right, Winn?”
Winnie giggled. Josie’s heart sank.
I can’t keep picking up the pieces of Donnie’s mistakes.But even as she thought it, she knew that when it came to Winnie, she would do anything to keep her safe. She loved that girl more than she loved herself.
Chapter Seven
December 2024
Although Tara had wanted to put Josie back in the same bedroom she’d had twenty years ago, as though no time had passed at all, she ended up giving Josie the cozier one downstairs. It was the easiest to access with the wheelchair (if Josie decided she needed it), and it was directly next to her bathroom, bathtub, and kitchen. Naturally, Josie was exhausted after the drive from Manhattan, so Tara hurriedly made up her bed and let her rest. During her nap, Tara read everything she could about “making a cancer patient comfortable” and considered ordering a hospital bed with bars so Josie could get out of it and back into it more easily.
Tara decided to ask Josie about it when she woke up. She didn’t want to rudely put her in a hospital bed if she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to make Josie think she was on the road to death, even if Josie talked about it as easily as talking about the weather.
Tara wanted to guide Josie back into the land of health.