Page 21 of Before the Storm

She wanted to make “death” a curse word in this house.

Tara was stumped about Josie’s sudden desire to reach out to their parents. She wasn’t sure about Josie, but she hadn’t spoken to her parents since they’d left, and she hardly thought about them anymore. Doing so always felt like punching herself in the heart. Josie had always been adamant that Tara was the “favorite daughter” and that Josie always played second fiddle. But Tara didn’t think that mattered, not so many years after their girlhood.

Their childhood on Nantucket felt like a distant dream.

Their parents were strangers in that dream.

Josie woke up two hours later and made her way into the living room. Tara was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice her till she was next to the fireplace, and she popped up to make her comfortable.

“Don’t worry about me,” Josie said. There was a look of peace on her face, and her eyes went to the window to look out at the thrashing gray waves. “Goodness, I’d forgotten how beautiful this place was.”

Tara’s heart felt bruised. “We picked it out together, remember?”

“Of course,” Josie said. “We weren’t sure if we could make the mortgage payments.”

“It was difficult at first.”

“And then it wasn’t.” Josie shrugged. “Funny how quickly things change.”

Tara watched Josie as she padded around the living room, looking at photographs of Winnie aged five, eight, and twelve. Her eyes shimmered. At first, Tara thought Josie was going to bring up Winnie and braced herself. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to take it.

Even the Salt Sisters knew not to bring up Winnie.

Mercifully, Josie didn’t say a thing.

“I thought I could cook dinner,” Tara said. “I have salmon.”

Tara had read that salmon was good for healing. She’d resolved to cook anti-cancer foods for Josie until she was well again.

Josie grimaced. “I’m so tired of salmon. I want a burrito or a burger or something greasy and fried.”

Tara felt deflated. But Josie had been through so much, and she needed to gain weight more than anything. “You want to order in?”

“That sounds really nice,” Josie said. “Let’s eat in front of the television and watch bad shows and talk about everything.”

When was the last time Tara and Josie had done that together? Tara thought she was going to burst into tears.

While Josie flicked through the stations, Tara went into the kitchen to order Mexican food—with extra veggies and less cheese than normal, though she didn’t share this decision with Josie. She made them mugs of tea and returned to the sofa to find Josie laughing lightly at an old episode ofFriends. Tara’s heart filled. It was almost as though they were in their twenties again. It was almost as though none of the madness of the rest of their lives had happened yet.

But we’re only forty-four and forty-five. Our lives are supposed to be only half over! We should have time to fix everything!

The bell rang a few minutes later.

“Food already?” Josie asked.

“It’s too early for food,” Tara said. “Be right back.”

Tara guessed one of the Salt Sisters was coming by to check on her. She’d told Hilary and Rose about her sister’s cancer, but she hadn’t told them she was back from Manhattan already. Maybe they’d driven by and seen her lights on?

But when she opened the front door, a very tall blond man in a puffy winter coat stood before her.

“Hello?” Tara’s voice wavered. But a kind glow in the man’s eyes told her everything would be okay.

“Tara?” The man’s voice was accented and musical. “I’m sorry for dropping by like this. I saw your light on.” He pressed his pink lips together as a big gust of wind crashed into them. “It’s Johan. I’m sorry, I should have said. We haven’t seen each other in fifteen years at least.”

Tara gasped. It was Johan, the Swedish immigrant! “Come in! Come in!” She felt flustered. “Josie! You’ll never guess who stopped by!”

Johan stomped his boots of snow and came into the foyer. “I was just driving by and saw that Steiner was still painted on the mailbox,” he explained. “You never changed your last name?”

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