Page 79 of T is for…

“Sorry, I guess my filters are still down.” She frowned down at her lap. “And I’m realizing we might need a break after this. Spend some time apart so we can…reset. It won’t be for a few months, but still, I’ll ask someone else.”

That broke him from the stasis that had taken hold.

Nathan reached out, grabbed Tara, and hauled her against him. The position was awkward until they got their legs sorted out, but in the end, he had her where he wanted her—snuggled up against him.

At first, she was tense, but after long minutes of stroking her back, Tara relaxed against him.

“Is it just submission?” he asked.

She sat up, but only enough so she could meet his gaze. “What?”

“I mean, you can have kink without any power exchange. The D is only one of the four letters in BDSM.”

“I… After everything I just told you, that’s what you want to ask?” Her lips twitched.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She frowned. “I…yes. Yes, I’d have kinky sex, as long as I trusted them. I worry that without the pressure of the power exchange, my partner might hurt me, himself, or both of us. Or I might slip into submission once the cuffs were on.” She grimaced. “So maybe I’m changing my answer. Vanilla sex only.”

Nathan didn’t bother to hide his horrified expression, and she grimaced.

“You don’t trust that your hypothetical husband would care enough about you to do some googling before trying something kinky.”

“Husband? Who said anything about a husband?”

He had, because he wanted to be her husband.

But he couldn’t say that now. They were still in aftercare, and by her own admission, her defenses were down.

No, he’d have to wait to tell her that after loving her for decades, he was now falling in love with her. She needed time before hearing that he was sure the only reason they weren’t already together was that their timing was terrible, and that at a certain point, protecting their friendship became more important than gambling on what they could have.

He wanted to be her husband, her kinky lover, her partner in raising a child.

Maybe they could save money and use his sperm…

He laughed at that, mostly because he was imagining her face when he made the joke. She looked up from where she was snuggled against him.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing.”

Her gaze narrowed.

“How long after birth before you’d be up for a gang bang?” he asked, blinking innocently.

Tara choked on air as she sat up, staring at him.

“Okay, not gang bang. Not really. Triple penetration. That’s our last item. Timing-wise, it sounds like we’ll have to wait until after the baby.”

“I’m— It’s not— You?—”

“You gotta finish a sentence, baby.”

Her breath caught, face softening when he called her baby, but she shook her head. “I’m not playing the game anymore. I’m leaving. I’m done.”

She wasn’t leaving. They were leaving. He didn’t need the club if he had her. Also, a triple penetration scene was pure hypothetical. He wasn’t going to let two other men fuck his wife. Unless she was into it. If she made that needy noise…

A vivid image of Tara looking up at him, his cock in her mouth as two other men fucked her pussy and ass, had his dick twitching.

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