Page 80 of T is for…

“If you want to do a triple penetration scene, we have to do it now,” she declared.

“No. We’re done.”

There was a shock of hurt in her gaze before she lowered her lashes, and Nathan realized how that would have sounded for her.

“With D/s. We’re both done with D/s.”

“For the weekend,” she said slowly, eyes darting over his face, brows drawn together as if she were trying to solve a problem. “I mean, for you it’s for the weekend.”

“No. We’re done. Both of us. With D/s and with Las Palmas.”

“Nathan, no. You don’t have to leave just because I am.”

“Have to? No. Want to. Yes.”

“Why?” The single word question was almost anguished.

Fuck, this was aftercare, and the rules said he should wait until he was sure she was back to her emotional baseline before any important conversation. The rules said it would be better to walk out that door and have her meet him somewhere else when and if she was ready. Given that this conversation was only tangentially related to BDSM, realistically, they should be talking outside the club.

He didn’t give a shit about the rules. If he walked away right now, even if he told her he wanted to keep talking, it would hurt her. And he wanted to dedicate the rest of his life to making Tara feel safe and loved.

“Well, I could say it’s because once we’re officially out of the scene, say, in the parking lot… I plan to ask you out on a date.”

Tara’s eyes rounded.

“I know, a date sounds ridiculous, given that we’ve known each other for twenty years and just had sex, but it would be weird to propose in a parking lot.”

“Nathan! Propose? That’s not funny.” She tried to glare, but there was hope in her gaze. Hope that made his own heart soar.

“I’m not joking.”

“But you… We… Why now?” Her eyes were luminous.

“Because you’re my person,” he said simply. “Girlfriends, subs, they came and went, and that was fine, because they were…waves.” He warmed to the metaphor that had just occurred to him. “They were like waves breaking against the cliffs.”

“Am I…am I a cliff?”

“We are. Together. I knew the waves couldn’t break me, because you were there. The two of us, standing together against the waves.”

She blinked, a tear slipping down her cheek. “That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“I’ve thought about you, in a non-friend way, more than I should have.”

“I was stupidly in love with you in college,” she said, her laugh watery. “But at first, I was scared because I didn’t think I was into BDSM. By the time I realized I really, really liked it, you were dating someone.”

“I almost asked you out,” he admitted. “Except before I could work up the courage, you started seeing Clark.”

He wondered if they’d always regret what could have been, or if what would be was enough to make it all worth it.

“I would tell you all that,” he declared dramatically. “Except I won’t say any of it. We’re in aftercare, and any serious, life-changing conversation would be inappropriate.”

“So, you’re going to wait until we’re out in the parking lot to ask me out?”

“Would it be weird to skip some steps and just propose?”

Tara fell back on the bed, hands on her belly as she laughed helplessly. “I was actually thinking that this weekend made it easier for me to give up BDSM, because how could I ever sub for anyone else. Do you know how many times I almost called you ‘Master’?”

Nathan leaned over, caging her in his arms. “Yes. I do. I heard it, even when what you said was my name.”

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