Page 78 of T is for…

The timeline shocked him. This was all happening now. Right now.

“I got the go-ahead to try an IVF cycle about six weeks ago, after some additional tests. I took a few weeks to think about whether or not I was really going to do this, especially because my insurance isn’t covering any of it, so best-case scenario it’s $30,000.”

He choked on his own spit, staring at her eyes wide.

Tara grimaced. “More realistically probably going to be closer to fifty, due to the advanced genetic testing I’ve opted for.”

“Shit,” Nathan breathed.

“One of the things I decided to do was to give up my Las Palmas membership.”

“Because of the cost.”

“Partially. But also, because I don’t think that I want to come here and submit to some random Dom once I’m a mom.” She held up her hands, head shaking, as if he’d reacted badly, though he hadn’t reacted at all. “I know. I know there are plenty of people who are both kinky and parents. I’m just saying that for me, especially as a single parent, I don’t think I’m going to be able to give up control enough to submit.”

She finally looked up from her hands, but her smile trembled. He could see the muscles in her chin quivering as she fought some heavy emotion. “Knowing I was leaving is why I agreed to this.” She gestured between them. “I don’t think I would have been okay with spending just one weekend with you, and then seeing you with other subs.”

Nathan went very still. I don’t think I would have been okay with spending just one weekend with you, and then seeing you with other subs.

That implied she believed, even before they touched, that they’d be good together. She’d just said the quiet part out loud.

Nathan stared at his best friend, the realization he’d been desperately ignoring finally crashing through to the forefront of his thoughts.

He was falling in love with her.

He already loved Tara—how could he not after 20 years as friends—but he was on the cusp of being in love with her. He wanted to be her Master and her husband and…and the father of her children.

Nathan silently had a second heart attack as his world tilted on its access, thanks to the revelation.

“This weekend was a last hurrah. My last time in the club. My last drink for a while. Last sex.”

That brought his thoughts to a screeching halt. “What do you mean last sex?”

“After everything I said, that’s what you’re stuck on?”

He arched his brows, refusing to be distracted.

“Once I start the prep month medications, no sex.”

“So you don’t accidentally get pregnant?”

“That and so I don’t end up with ovarian torsion, which can be caused by exercise, sex, and even repetitive twisting motions.”

Nathan resisted the urge to grab his balls to protect them from torsion. “Oh shit.”

“Need money. No sex for months. Not going to be submissive anymore.” She shrugged helplessly, and for a moment she seemed young, the girl he’d first met still inside the woman sitting in front of him. “Hence, leaving Las Palmas.”

Nathan needed a minute to finish processing his emotional revelation, and figure out how he was going to tell her.

“I was going to tell you,” she said after a moment, “about the IVF, because I was thinking of asking you to be my ride to and from the surgery.”

“Wait, surgery?”

“To retrieve the eggs. It’s conscious sedation, but I can’t drive myself home. Right now, I haven’t told anyone what I’m doing. I don’t want anyone to suffer through the emotional roller coaster with me. I’ll tell people either once I get pregnant, or when I stop trying. But I need a ride to and from surgery. And I figured…well I’m always comfortable with you.”

Nathan stared at her, heart beating hard against his ribs, and this time it wasn’t an anxiety-induced heart attack.

Tara gathered her hair over one shoulder, twisting it into a rope with a practiced flip.

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