Page 42 of Shielded Secrets

“But this,” she said, tapping her heart. “If you let love in, it sets you free from all the crap that held you down in the past. I can’t begin to know what you’ve been through. I won’t pretend that I know how hard your life has been. I’ve struggled too. If you were trapped by your circumstances—of being in the system or not having a family or trying to get by on too little—I can say that I know how hard that is. I was there. I survived that too, but in a different way.”

For her to say that, she had to have had such a terrible life as Igor Petrov’s daughter. He was wealthy and powerful, and still, she'd suffered.

“I was stuck being his spy and doing all that he wanted. I didn’t have a family, not with him or when I was separated from my brother. And I was permitted only to have what he deemed necessary. It’s a shitty way to live, but the moment I told myself that it would be okay to trust Vik with my heart, it all changed for the better. Because he makes me stronger.”

“Exactly. Love always makes us stronger,” Eva said, taking my hand and squeezing it.

I nodded, too moved by their support to let my nagging, stubborn doubts get any louder in my mind.

Love would set me free too. I was certain of it. I was getting more and more certain I could have real love to tie me to Rurik, the patient and generous Mafia man I couldn’t resist.

But I wasn’t sure how I could rectify the deep conviction that my secret about Officer O’Malley’s demise wouldn’t damn me by keeping any of these Baranovs from wanting me around anymore.

18

RURIK

The last couple of days of Kelly’s spring break passed too quickly.

Unfortunately, I was stuck in meetings and out running errands for the Boss or Lev. When I told Kelly that she had to go shopping with Eva and Irina and spend my money on herself, I thought it would be good for her to have a break from me and not just spend every minute next to me.

Now as the time was dwindling down until she’d be expected back on campus, it seemed like I couldn’t get her alone for more than a few minutes.

I brought her with me to the Baranov mansion for lunch the day before she’d need to go back to school. While I was expected to talk with Lev and Vik, I figured she’d want to hang out with Eva and Irina.

“What’s going on lately that you’re so busy?” Kelly asked on the drive there. As soon as she spoke, she shook her head. “Never mind. Forget I asked. I have to remember that I can’t just ask and think it’s not, um, confidential information.”

I laughed, picking up her hand and holding it while I drove. “We’ve talked about a lot of insider information around you. And we wouldn’t have been that open and talked so freely if we didn’t know that we could trust you with the information.”

She nodded but didn’t speak up again.

Dammit.I hated how she was so insistent on keeping a line between us.

“We’ve been busy because there have been more sightings of someone Oleg callsJohnDoe.”

She frowned. “John Doe. A dead man?”

“No. Well… No.”

“Wait. Is this guy dead or not?” she asked. “Because I thought that John or Jane Doe stood for people who were dead that the morgue or cops had to ID somehow but couldn’t.”

“I think that’s where the terms come from, but this man is supposed to be dead,” I told her. “Lev killed him, but then he was seen after that supposed death. Not supposed.” I furrowed my brow, hearing how confusing this had to sound. “He—or someone—was killed that day Lev finished his job before protecting Eva.”

“But… it might not be the same man?” she guessed.

“Maybe. We can’t tell. He’s been popping up on security footage and we’ve been following the leads to see if we can catch this guy and see if there was something weird going on with that hit Lev did.”

“Ah.” After that minimal reply, she fell quiet again.

“We’ve also been busy because there is more chatter about Sonya’s disappearance.”

“Eva was talking about her mom and sister the other day. She seems convinced they’re dead and have been for a while.”

I nodded, glancing at her. “I think so too.”

“But Oleg can’t let it go?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t seem like he can let Sonya go. But I realized recently that he’s not as vested in finding out what happened to Amelia Baranov.”

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