Page 41 of Shielded Secrets

“How come you grew so distant from me, though?” Eva asked as she waited for the dress shop clerk to show her the dress they’d been altering for her wedding. “At the end of the semester and afterward.”

I let out a deep breath and faced her, knowing I had to come clean and just tell her the truth about that. “It hurt too much to see you with Lev. Don’t take this the wrong way. I am so,sohappy that you’re happy, that he’s happy. That you’ve found each other and are so in love. But it was hard for me to witness it up close because I felt like a burden and a third wheel.”

“No, Kel, that’s not?—”

I held my hand up to cut her off. “I know. You didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t rubbing it in my face or anything. It’sme. It’s not a you problem but me.” I pointed at myself for emphasis. “I wanted that. I still do want that someday. I hate how jaded I got watching you and Lev get together and fall in love, and I hate even more that I was jealous. But that’s why. I kept sinking into this rut of thinking that it would never happen for me.”

“It could,” Eva said with a sly smile.

“Um, I think that it alreadyhas,” Irina cut in. “Every time you and Rurik go to the main house for meetings or dinner or whatever, you guys are so damn cute together.”

I scrunched my face. “Cute? How so?”

“For one thing, he can’t take his eyes off you,” Irina replied.

“And you blush or get this little smile every time you notice he’s watching you,” Eva added.

I did just that right now. I couldn’t wipe this wide grin off my face. Hearing about how Rurik and Ilookedlike a couple felt like a solid piece of proof that we were good for each other. It was natural to be with him.

“Don’t give up on him,” she advised with a wink.

“Oh, I’m not in the mood to give anything up.” The longer I stayed with him, the less inclined I was to go back to my place and ever be alone again. We were living together this week, but it wasn’t like he was suffocating me. I’d read while he went off for something for Oleg. I’d studied a little with online materials while he watched TV. We just clicked, and I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life.

This, too, would be hard to give up. This sisterhood with Eva and Irina was more than friendship. Only they could understand the pressure and danger of being a significant other of someone in a crime family.

I caught myself from getting too attached to them, but it wasn’t easy. We bonded so well, even to the point that I, not Eva, could call Irina out for acting sort of funny.

“What is it?” I asked. “You’ve clearly got something on your mind.”

She bit her lip, obviously trying not to smile.

“You’ve been fidgeting all afternoon,” I told her.

She didn’t reply, but then in a sudden burst, she blurted out, “I’m pregnant!”

That was our cue to cry out in surprise and celebrate. Being able to join in on this good news was exciting, and more than once, I realized how I wouldn’t have ever been able to participate like a happy friend if I hadn’t taken a chance on Rurik after he saved me.

Too quickly, the mood shifted. It turned for the worse when I spotted a pair of cops strolling by outside. Both of them were in uniform, just walking on the sidewalk, probably on the beat, but the mere sight of them tore me out of this elation over Irina’s news. Fear settled in my heart instead. Distressed, distraught, and dismayed, I tried my hardest not to let the visual impact me so strongly.

It’s not O’Malley.Iknewthat specific cop who’d hated me wasn’t walking past this dress shop. I’d made sure of it that he’d never walk anywhere in uniform again. Yet, seeing others in his samerole put me right back to the misery of the day when I last saw him.

“Kel?” Eva asked, looking at me from the dressing room dais where she could check the progress on her beautiful wedding gown from all the angles.

Dammit.I had to do better than this. I had to work on hiding my emotions again. It was so freeing not to be so tense and guarded with these two women or with Rurik, but I couldn’t let anyone know about that moment in my past. They’d never look at me the same again. She’d noticed how quiet I’d gotten, and I hurried to distract her from worrying about me or wondering what was wrong.

“So, Irina. Who will walk you down the aisle?” I asked, reaching for anything that would pull Eva’s attention off me for a while. Nothing worked better than hefting the focus onto someone else.

It worked. Irina scowled, shaking her head, and Eva rolled her eyes. “Not Igor Petrov,” Eva answered.

“Hell no would I want that man there. He wouldn’t set foot at my wedding anywhere.” Irina looked at me. “He’s been quiet, but he has got to be so mad and livid that his only daughter is marrying a Baranov, his worst enemy.”

“He hasn’t even reached out to get Maxim,” Eva said.

Here and there, I’d gotten enough of the full story about Irina and her younger brother. It was a wild tale, but also a curious one because so far, Igor Petrov had yet to fight back or attack the Baranovs for taking both of his kids.

“Igor would never wish to see me marrying the enemy,” Irina insisted. “And I don’t even care. I have no desire to care what hethinks or wants.” She flung her arms out and did a slow twirl. “I’m free. I’m liberated from his control. And now, with my man, I have control over anything and everything I could ever want.” She stopped spinning to smile at me. “And you could be this happy, too, Kelly.”

“I am happy. I’m happier.”

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