Page 89 of On The Beach

I let out a shaky breath. "I don't know how to just…accept that I'm failing."

He kissed me softly and pulled me into his lap like I was a child. I felt safe and protected. "You're not failing, Belle. It's a setback, yeah, but that doesn't mean it's the end. The only thing worse than stumbling is letting the fear of it burn you out until there's nothing left."

I turned my head and met his eyes. "Easy for you to say, Mick. You left that life. But this is all I've ever wanted to do."

"I've been where you are," he said quietly, his expression turning serious. "Running myself into the ground, chasing perfection until I didn't have anything left to give. You're incredible, Belle, but you're not invincible. You can't give everything without taking something for yourself."

His words started to seep in, loosening the grip my fearand guilt had on me. "So what am I supposed to do?" I asked, feeling rather defeated. "Just accept that it's out of my hands?"

"Not entirely." Mick's lips grazed my forehead. "You have to accept that you're human. It's okay to need a break, to have limits and boundaries. That's what Reef Harbor is for. A place to remind you there's life outside of lab coats and clinical trials."

I swallowed, the warmth of his hand grounding me. "I didn't think I'd end up back here," I whispered. “In Reef Harbor."

He gave my hand a small squeeze. "Maybe you did. Maybe you didn't. But I'm glad you are here with me, and I'd like to keep you forever."

I managed a small smile, feeling the ache in my chest lessen just a little. "And a night in the jail cell is going to continue to be part of our romantic repertoire?"

He laughed softly, his face close enough that I could see the warmth in his eyes. "I believe so."

We did what we had last time in a jail cell, the first time we slept together. Mick leaned against the wall on the bench, and I slid between his legs. And somehow, in that quiet, cramped cell on an uncomfortable wooden bench, I fell asleep and felt more at ease than I had in months.

CHAPTER 31

between a rock and a bottom

MICK

Cato, Franco, and RiRi wasted no time in tearing into me as if I'd personally wronged each of them.

"You're what?" Franco sputtered, practically choking on his drink. "Mate, did you knock your head when you came up with this plan?"

RiRi crossed her arms, fixing me with a sharp glare. "Letting her go? Mick, you don't bring a woman like that back here, say all the right things, and then just… push her away. Have you completely lost your mind?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, feeling their collective judgment in full force. "Look, it's not like I didn't think this through. She was doing great, and now she's not doing well…again. She's working all the time. She's not even drinking, and I've tried to get her drunk. She wants to go back to Cambridge."

"Then go with her," Cato suggested.

"I don't want to. If this is going to be our life with Belle working all the time, I can't do it. And I can't stop her from doing what she wants. Belle is meant for something big. Bigger than Reef Harbor. She's out there changing lives, movingmountains. I'm here, drinking at a beach bar and dragging lizards off the porch every morning." In the past three weeks since she was arrested, it was becoming clear to me that Belle wasn't meant for the life I wanted to live—a life with balance or rather more of a tilt towardlivingthan working. Belle liked to go on vacation; I wanted to live my life like Iwas alwayson vacation and wanted to work to challenge my mind. I was excited about the prospect of doing more than being a beach bum thanks to my sojourn to Cambridge, but I wouldn't become who I used to be, who Belle, I feared, was.

Cato raised an eyebrow, his expression more bemused than angry. "And you don't think she could maybe use a little of the Reef Harbor simplicity?"

"That's just it," I said, trying to make them understand what I'd finally realized myself. "She's not wired for a simple life. She's destined to do incredible things. I'm not dragging her down to my level."

"But you said you were going to consider being some hotshot consultant?" Franco reminded me.

"Yeah, but I won't give up my life to be a workaholiceveragain. Belle refuses to learn balance. So, I'm going to get her out of hereand…." Break my fucking heart.

RiRi let out a sharp laugh. "Dragging her down? Mick, do you hear yourself? Since when is living a happy life going in a downward direction?"

I didn't respond right away. RiRi, Cato, Franco—they'd all chosen lives that suited them, but I couldn't help seeing things from a different angle. "You know what happened to me. I got burned out. Lost my sense of purpose. I'm just…" I hesitated, the words tasting strange even as I said them. "I'm trying to do the right thing for Belle, but she's not working with me."

Cato let out a long sigh, shaking his head like I'd missedthe mark entirely. "So your answer is to let her go without even telling her how you feel?"

"Oh, she knows how I feel," I muttered.

RiRi reached over and gave me a light slap on the arm. "You're an idiot, Mick Bottom. You think you can just love someone from afar and call it doing the right thing? People don't just get over love like that."

I knew that was true. I wouldn't get over Belle.Butit was starting to feel like a one-sided relationship.

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