Page 81 of Right in Front of You

“That’s the problem, Carter. He will always be in my life, no matter how much I try to push him away.”

“When did this happen? University? The hospital? Was it an intern? Not a patient? Did you call the police?”

“No, it wasn’t any of those. It was a long time ago, Carter. It doesn’t even matter.”

He gently smoothed his hand down my thigh, right over my knee. I flinched and gasped at the same time, confusing him even more.

He sat up straight, pulling away a fraction. I immediately felt the absence of his touch.

“Of course it matters. You’ve had a bad experience, one that should have been good and one of the most wonderful times of your life. Making love to someone for the first time, it’s… it’s irreplaceable.”

“Was your first time with Daisy?” I asked.

“Yes. It was both our first times. Maybe that’s why for a long time I felt so connected to her.”

“That’s the way it should be, shouldn’t it?”

Frustration began seeping out of Carter’s pores. I knew that I wasn’t telling him much, but I couldn’t. It was better to leave the past where it belonged: behind us.

“Someone from our town?”

I nodded.

“Shit!” He stiffened before standing up. Carter paced from one side of the boat to the other, dragging his fingers through his hair, swearing under his breath. “Please tell me it’s not what I’m thinking. For God’s sake, Molly, tell me it’s not him!”

His voice was louder, but not shouting. He was upset, and rightly so.

“Carter, it’s been so long. It’s not even worth thinking about it.”

“My brother? I knew Max was there that night for a reason.”

His brother? For a smart guy, sometimes Carter overthought… everything.

“No, it’s not your brother. It’s… I can barely remember that night. I don’t want to remember it. You know, every time I look at the scar on my knees I’m reminded of what happened, and it’s not something that can ever be taken back.”

He froze. It suddenly got very quiet, and I realized that I’d said too much. He knew. From that one single look in his eyes, I knew that he finally knew what a monster Father had been.

I could hear our synchronized breathing and definitely my heartbeat. How had tonight, the perfect evening he’d planned, gone so wrong? This was my fault. I ruined it.

As recognition dawned on him, Carter just kept shaking his head. I never thought I’d see him cry, but he did. His tears fell the same way mine had over ten years ago. I felt his pain; in fact, I was the one who experienced it. He kicked one of the candles up and off the boat screaming, “Fuck!” It splattered into the water, its light extinguished the same way my heart had been doused that gruesome day.

“That day I took you to Doctor Burke? You told me you fell.”

He came closer and knelt in front of me before looking up. Fear, confusion, doubt, and sorrow all filled his eyes at the same time.

“And you believed me,” I whispered, lowering my head.

“That’s wrong. That’s just so wrong.” He kept shaking his head in disbelief. “Is that why Doctor Burke gave me those condoms? Because he thought that we’d had sex?”

“Because that’s what I told him. I didn’t want him telling my mom. I didn’t want him telling anyone. I was just so scared and embarrassed. Ashamed.” My tears were streaming down my cheeks. Carter slowly stood up and wiped them off with his thumb before wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me to his secure body and I broke down.

I suddenly realized how much I’d ached to be comforted and held. My trembles were absorbed by him, my fear and mortification that this would haunt me for the rest of my life now replaced by so much care and love that it was difficult to contain.

“I’m going to kill him,” he said into my ear. “He has to pay for what he’s done. Oh, Molly. I’m so sorry you had to see him that day at the restaurant. I’m so sorry about what he did to you and that I ever questioned you about your family.”

I pulled away and looked up with my tear-filled eyes. “Carter, you can’t tell him that you know. He’ll come after me if you do. He’ll go after my mother as well.”

“He won’t if he’s dead.”

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