Page 49 of Forged

Worse still, Rafe happened to be walking from the classroom hallway toward the office, and his eyebrows went up as he spotted Callum touching him.

“You know,” Callum went on, not noticing that they had an audience, “Ostara is this Friday. We’re beginning celebrations on Friday evening and carrying them into the weekend. I’ve invited you before and I know you have other plans, but it really would be a joy to have you join us.”

He moved his thumb slightly as he pulled his hand back, brushing it against Bax’s neck. The subtle movement was deliberate. Callum’s invitation was clearly for more than just an Ostara picnic.

“We’ll see,” Bax said with a tight smile, then took a step back.

He and Callum said their goodbyes, and as soon as Callum left, Bax headed for the office. His smile dropped, and a whirlwind of anxious thoughts hit him. The man he’d been before coming to Hawthorne House would have jumped at Callum’s invitation. And not the one to join his coven for Ostara, or permanently. He would have bent over and offered Callum his arse in a heartbeat back in the fall. They’d been together before, and Bax’s memories of those nights were good.

“Ouch,” Rafe said as Bax walked into the office kitchen to grab a tea.

Bax was so lost in his thoughts that he flinched a little and snapped his gaze up to meet Rafe’s eyes guiltily.

“You look like a man staring down the barrel of a moral dilemma,” Rafe went on, leaning against the edge of the counter as the kettle boiled.

“Down the barrel?” Bax blinked, trying to divert the inevitable conversation. “You’ve been in America too long.”

Rafe shrugged. “The metaphor seems appropriate,” he said. “Since what I saw out there has the potential to blow your head off.”

Bax desperately wanted to argue his innocence and tell his cousin that nothing untoward was going on. The trouble was, he couldn’t.

“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed in a tired voice, leaning against the perpendicular counter and rubbing both hands over his face.

“If you’re done with Nick, you owe it to him, to all of us, to end it quickly and easily instead of dragging him along,” Rafe said in a surprisingly firm voice.

Bax let his hands drop and stared at Rafe, forlorn. “I don’t want to end things with Nick. I love Nick. I really do.”

“Have you said the words?” Rafe asked.

“Yes, actually,” Bax straightened a bit. “A couple weeks ago. And frequently since then. And I mean them, too. I’ve never met anyone like Nick. I’ve never met anyone who feels so much like the perfect man for me. He’s kind and good, creative and funny when he wants to be, and between you and me, he’s amazing in bed.”

Rafe looked surprised for a second before frowning again. “He’s one of the best men I know,” he said. “Raina picked a good one. If you hurt him, her ghost is going to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

Bax winced. “I know,” he said. “I don’t want to hurt Nick. Believe me, I don’t.”

“But?” Rafe asked.

Bax sighed. “I feel like I’m lost somewhere in this relationship. It’s not at all what I’m used to.”

“Let me guess,” Rafe said with a lopsided grin. “You’re used to sunshine and moonbeams, sex at every hour of the day and night, and you and your boyfriend being the center of each other’s worlds.”

Bax felt sick with guilt at how easily his cousin had pegged him. “Is that really so wrong?” he asked, playing devil’s advocate with himself. “I’m a man with needs and a life. I’m used to a different pace of life, different expectations.”

“Yeah, and you’re dating a man with two small children,” Rafe said.

“Trust me, I know,” Bax said.

He winced at how harsh those few words had sounded. They made him sound like a selfish brat.

He let out a breath and leaned forward as the kettle clicked and started making himself a tea. “I am well aware of how selfish I sound right now,” he said, not looking at Rafe, who was watching him intently. “I love Nick’s kids, Raina’s kids. They’re already related to me by blood. I just never thought I’d be in any sort of parental position. I imagined myself having a much more adult life.”

“Nick probably imagined that, too,” Rafe said.

Bax sent him a flat, sideways look as he took the bag out of his tea. That thought had never occurred to him, which made him feel even more selfish. Of course Nick had wanted an adult life before the kids came along. “You’re not helping here,” he said.

Rafe laughed unexpectedly. “What do you want me to say? That you’re in danger of ruining a really good thing?”

“I’m not going to ruin it,” Bax said, throwing his teabag into the compost bin on the counter a little too forcefully. “I know it’s a good thing. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

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