Page 50 of Forged

“So?” Rafe said, twisting to make his own tea.

Bax sighed. “So this isn’t who I thought I was. It isn’t necessarily who I want to be.”

Rafe grinned and shook his head. “How old are you, Bax? Twenty-five?”

“Twenty-six,” Bax mumbled.

“And aren’t you always talking about the natural flow and change of the seasons and all that Pagan shit?”

Bax clenched his jaw. “Are you making fun of my faith or just using it to make a point?”

“Using it to make a point,” Rafe said without pause. “And that point is that seasons change. You’re young, but maturity is creeping in on you. You need to change with the seasons and accept that life looks different for different people at different phases.”

He had a point. But Bax rejected the idea that just because you got older you had to give up freedom and spontaneity.

“I love Nick,” he said, both in reply to Rafe and to circle back around to his own thoughts. “I think I could love him a lot more. We’re really good together. And just because he’s a father in his thirties doesn’t mean he has to be a slave to his responsibilities.”

“Um, when those responsibilities are toddlers, yes, he does,” Rafe said.

“How would you know?” Bax snapped, more irritated than he should be. “You’re not a father. You’ve been an international playboy, traveling the world blowing glass, and probably anyone with a sparkle in their eyes for you.”

Instead of getting angry with him, Rafe grinned like a Cheshire cat. “You’ve been waiting ages to use that one, haven’t you.”

Rafe’s humorous response took some of the edge off Bax’s frustration and he smiled. “Of course I have. It’s too good not to use.”

Rafe laughed and finished stirring sugar into his tea. Then he left the mug where it was and turned to give Bax a surprise hug. “Relationships are hard,” he said. “The best ones take even more work than the crappy ones because they mean more. You and Nick are perfect for each other, but that doesn’t mean everything will be easy at every step of the way. I’m sure the two of you can figure this out.”

Bax hugged his cousin back, willing his words to be true, even though uncertainty still gripped his gut. “How did you get so smart about relationships?” he asked. “You hate commitment.”

“I despise it,” Rafe said, letting Bax go. “I’d rather be dangled out one of the attic windows by my balls then get involved in anything resembling a serious relationship.”

Bax laughed. Rafe was one of the more commitment-phobic members of the Hawthorne family, as his long string of exes showed.

He was about to say something to tease Rafe about it when Nick came striding into the office kitchen with an ancient book open in his hands and an excited look on his face.

“Bax, there you are,” he said, glancing from whatever was on the pages of his book to Bax with a smile. “I found this amazing book in the old library. It’s Victorian or something, and it’s all about ancient folk traditions. Which is the polite, Victorian way of saying it’s about Pagan holidays. It’s given me some ideas for how we could celebrate Ostara.”

Bax’s insides did about two dozen sorts of pinchy, flippy things at the force of Nick’s smile and his energy. “Really?” he asked. “What does it say?”

He peeked sideways at Rafe, who slipped subtly out of the room wearing a teasing grin.

“It talks about a lot of things that people used to do to welcome the spring back in ancient times,” Nick went on, not noticing the deliberate way Rafe left them alone. “And if the Victorians were calling the times ancient, they probably really were.”

Bax hummed and shifted so he could stand by Nick’s side and slide an arm around his waist so the two of them could look at the book together. Nick, in turn, shifted the book to his other hand so he could wrap his arm around Bax’s shoulders. Bax breathed in his smokey, spicy scent and snuggled into his warmth.

“The book talks about painting eggs and hiding them, which isn’t a surprise at all,” Nick said as the two of them stood together, looking at the yellowed pages of the book. “What do you think about this idea of making flower crowns and garlands, too? And making a special bed in the garden to plant seeds in. I think the kids would love playing in the dirt as they planted seeds. It would be a great way to get them involved that wouldn’t detract from what the adults could be doing.”

Bax sucked in a breath as his heart pounded against his ribs. Nick was trying so hard to accommodate him and to get the entire family involved. He was a horrible, rotten person for even considering breaking things off just because he couldn’t have everything his way all the time.

“If you’re alright with your babies getting mud in every crevasse and cranny, then I think it would be a great idea to involve them,” he said. If he said it enough times, he might actually start believing it, too.

Nick pivoted to grin at him. “If they get messy, that just means we can clean them up,” he said. “And then put them to bed and take a nice, long, hot bath of our own.”

Bax couldn’t help but smile at that. Nick had yet to master the art of a subtle, sexy grin. He looked more like a bear who found himself a ball to play with, but Bax loved it. More than that, it was the thought that counted.

“I love the idea of a bath,” he said. He plucked the book out of Nick’s hands and set it on the counter along with his forgotten tea, then shifted to embrace Nick tightly. “I love the idea of you naked however I can get you.”

“I like that, too,” Nick said, dipping down to kiss him.

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