Page 67 of Broken Promises

“What?” I asked with confusion, wishing I could shake her a little. Did she really think I was grateful for her getting hurt?

“We couldn’t afford a baby, right?” She sounded firm, like she was trying to convince herself that it was a good thing that had happened.

“We would’ve figured it out.”

“But we?—”

“Raven. We would’ve figured it out,” I repeated, needing her to hear me. “I’m not the type that takes the easy way out, so I never would’ve asked you to get an abortion. I wasn’t careful that second time we slept together, I obviously didn’t pull out fast enough. I would’ve done everything in my power to make sure you and the baby were looked after.”

She turned her attention back to her food, wanting a second to process my words. I wasn’t lying, I would’ve been the best damn dad I could’ve been to that baby.

The familiar ache in my chest started, just like it did every time the subject was brought up. I hadn’t really dealt with my grief, continuing to push it down and focus on my worry for Raven instead.

“I didn’t pass it all. They had to do a procedure to remove what was left,” she said as she pushed a piece of pasta around her bowl.

“You had to have surgery?” I asked, my eyes dropping to her stomach as if I could see scars from it.

“No. The D&C basically just scrapes it out. It was way too invasive for my liking,” she shuddered. “It didn’t hurt, but the cramps after were really uncomfortable.”

“I should’ve been there.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” she said, not bothering to hide the hurt in her voice.

“I know sorry doesn’t take it all back, but I really am. I wish I’d just shut my mouth and been there for you instead. You’renot some kind of prize. He just made me so mad and it all came out.”

She pushed her bowl away, and when her eyes met mine and I saw the tears in them, it was like a punch to the stomach. I hated that I’d done this to her, causing her so much grief and mistrust.

“I need you to tell me the truth, Logan. Did you actually have feelings for me, or was I just convenient?”

“Bab— Raven. I love you, one hundred percent. I know you might not believe that, but it’s the truth. If I could pick any woman in this world, even before we started seeing each other, my answer was always going to be you.”

I thought I’d scared her off when she stood, but she almost knocked me off my damn stool as she threw her arms around me. I hugged her back, closing my eyes and savoring these few seconds, knowing my words weren’t a magic fix and things still weren’t okay.

She pulled back after a second, wiping her eyes and trying to hide the fact that she’d obviously let tears escape.

“You really fucking hurt me,” she said sharply, getting control of her emotions now that she’d let her walls down for a second.

“I know. Right now, I just want to be your friend so you can come to me when you need help. I won’t try to force you to be with me again, I just want to be able to check in with you so I know you’re okay,” I said as she took another step back. “I definitely want to be with you, but we can work on us later once we’ve built trust again and you’re ready.”

I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and take her back to Beckett’s, but something told me that would be counterproductive.

“Okay,” she agreed, relief hitting me. As long as I could check in, I was happy.

She sat back down, and we continued eating in comfortable silence until our bowls were empty.

Ander walked in, acting like he wasn’t being nosey as he rinsed his bowl, taking ours to rinse too. Raven excused herself, most likely wanting to lean on Zavier a little until she had a better grasp on her emotions, leaving me with Ander.

“Since my kitchen is intact, I assume you two played nice?” Ander asked lightly, eyeing me curiously.

“Yeah.”

“I know I probably don’t need to tell you this, but don’t show up here uninvited. This is her safe place, and if she starts to feel uncomfortable?—”

“I know. I appreciate you protecting her peace,” I answered, knowing that even if I couldn’t visit whenever I wanted, I knew she was okay here. “Me and her aren’t going to just go back to the way things were, tonight was just about being able to get some things out on the table.”

“I’m a little impressed that you or Reid haven’t gone apeshit and ruined it even more,” he said in a taunting tone, and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m aware you’ve slept with her, so don’t even bother trying to cause trouble with that. Take my advice and wrap it up.”

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