Page 24 of Choosing Me

I shouldn’t be this upset. Calvin was clear from the beginning. It’s not his fault I fell for him. It’s not his fault I started having theseexpectationsthat he could maybe love me back. I should have been better at keeping my heart in check. It’s better this way. At least, that’s what I keep trying to convince myself, because it hurts a little less if I can tell myself not to think about just how well we clicked together.

“Fuck,” I murmur to myself, rubbing my eyes before I’m walking out the door, making sure it’s secure behind me and the alarm is properly in place. Even with my insides all twisted up in pain, I make sure to complete my job properly. I duck my head as I quickly make my way to my car, getting wet as I go. I slip into my driver’s seat, letting out a shaky breath as I do.

For a moment, I sit there, just taking deep breaths to calm myself down. It won’t benefit anyone if I’m a distracted driver on the road. I put my worries and my hurt to the back of my mind as best as I can. My hands tighten around my steering wheel for a moment. Okay, I can do this. Before I can put my keys into the ignition, there’s a tap on my window.

I startle, my breath catching. When I look over, I find Calvin standing there, his long blond hair a windswept mess, his clothes drenched from the rain. I roll down my window.

“Calvin?”

“Hey,” he says, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m glad I caught you.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m good. Hopefully. I don’t know. Part of that depends on how this speech goes.”

“What speech?” I ask, trying to damper the tiny bit of hope blooming inside my chest. Despite the way he’s soaking wet, he looks good. Maybe it’s the longing inside my chest talking but he looks even better than I remember. Fuck. That’s bad. I should fucking know better by now to get my hopes up! The reason we’re in the mess is because I couldn’t control my feelings.

“I was a dumbass. I thought you were gonna make me choose between being free and being tied down.”

I shake my head, carefully opening the door. Emotions war inside of me. When he moves, I open it up and step back out into the rain. More thunder booms around us but I don’t care, it barely makes a dent in the booming of my own heart in my ears. I stare into Calvin’s eyes, hanging on his every word.

“I’d never make you pick.”

Calvin cracks the smallest smile. “I know that now. But I came here to tell you something.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m choosing me.”

I bite my bottom lip, keeping my face blank. “What does that mean?”

“I thought choosing me meant I was choosing to be alone. But I was wrong. Choosing me means choosing not to do this thing called life all by myself. It means letting you in, knowingbothof us will refuse to be tied down, but we’ll do ittogether.”

I look down at my hands for a moment, just processing everything Calvin is saying, cursing the way my eyes are prickling. I clear my throat. “I’d never want you to feel stifled or suffocated. I like the idea of us both being free together.”

“Which is why I’m making the decision to be with you, and I’m praying to every fucking god that’ll listen that you’ll choose me right back.”

“Of course I do,” I say right away, not even needing to think. I reach out, running my hand over the side of Calvin’s neck, smiling to myself when I feel the way his pulse races. I’m so fucking glad I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed right now. “You’re an idiot if you don’t know by now that I’m completely gone for you.”

Calvin finally smiles and my knees go a little weak. God, I’ve missed that smile. He leans forward until our foreheads are touching, his smile merging into warm laughter that fills my belly with warmth. “I love you, too,” he whispers, just barely audible over the pouring rain. My breath hitches as my entire body warms, feeling his words in my very soul. “I love you so goddamn much that it scares me.”

I pull back so I can look into his eyes. “Doing the scary thing is kinda fun though, isn’t it?”

“Hell yeah it is,” he says before pulling me forward into a kiss that steals my breath. I flip our positions, pushing Calvin against the side of my car. With my hands on his cheek and the side of his neck, I don’t hold back, pouring all of my feelings into this kiss.

“I love you,” I whisper as we pull apart, just because I can. I’m finallyallowedto say it and it feels more freeing than I thought possible. All the baggage of keeping my feelings a secret fall away, leaving me feeling light with joy.

“Take me home, alpha?”

“Always,” I murmur, kissing his lips one more time. “You’re always welcome wherever I am.”

Calvin rolls his eyes but behind the snark all I see is fondness. “Alright, alright. No need to be corny. Remember at the arcade? Romantic bullshit is to be saved for the privacy of home.”

“Fine, let me rephrase,” I say, tugging him against me once more and running my nose over his, my chest fluttering as I remember that past conversation. Through the smell of rain my nose picks up his blueberry scent and god, have I missed it. “I love you and you’ll always have me. But for tonight, come back to my place and remind me I belong to you and you belong to me.”

Calvin nods his head, a smirk playing at his lips. His eyes have turned feral and my stomach erupts with butterflies, already looking forward to what my omega has planned for me. “Gladly,” he says before shoving me away and walking to the passenger side of the car. “I have a lot of groveling to do and I have a few ideas on how to do it.”

With the man I love beside me, I make my way back home. He’s letting me in. He’s letting melove him, and for that, I feel like the luckiest alpha alive. My car smells like freshly baked blueberry muffins and I hope it sinks into the fabric so I’ll smell it every time I’m in here. This feels right and amazing and exciting all at once.

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