Page 12 of Guarded

It was kinda funny how surprised everyone had been so far. “Just found out. It’s still early, so don’t say anything to anyone. I wanted to tell you in person though.”

A tiny frown creased Trinity’s brow. “I didn’t know you guys were trying.”

She also hadn’t told Trinity she and Matt wanted to start a family. “We haven’t been for long. It kind of just happened.”

Her friend gave her a warm smile and got up from the chair. “I’m so happy for you.” She engulfed Briar in a big hug, the soft scent of her perfume swirling around them. “Such great news.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, flushing. She hated being the center of attention, it made her feel awkward. “Anyway, now you know.”

“I’m glad you told me. And I’m guessing Matt is beyond thrilled?” Trinity sat back down.

“I think so.” She knew so.

Trinity was still smiling at her, but there was something in her eyes that bothered Briar. A hint of sadness. Or maybe a deeply buried longing.

And then it hit her.

Oh God, she was so stupid. Briar sucked in a breath, feeling like an asshole. “Ah, shit, Trin. I’m sorry.”

Trinity blinked. “What? Why?”

“I didn’t think. I wanted to come tell you, and I didn’t stop to think that it would be hard on you—”

“Briar. It’s fine. I really am happy for you.” She put on another smile, and this time whatever Briar had seen in her eyes was gone.

Maybe Trinity was happy for them. But she knew her friend was putting on a brave face for her right now. The Valkyrie Program had cost them all so much. For Trinity, that included the chance to ever have a baby of her own. A forced hysterectomy before she had graduated from the training program had served as an efficient and ruthless way to ensure that biology never posed an inconvenient side-effect while she performed her intimate and up-close assignments.

Of the three of them, without a doubt Trinity had suffered the most. It was a stark reminder that Briar needed to put aside any stupid uncertainties about becoming a mother, and focus on just how lucky she was to have the opportunity.

****

Matt crossed his arms over his chest and fought the urge to pace as he waited for the doctor with Briar in the exam room. Not Briar’s regular doctor. The obstetrician Taya had seen during her pregnancy. Matt wanted his wife to have the best care possible.

Briar was lying on the table in a paper gown, hands folded atop her middle as she stared up at the ceiling. She seemed calm and happy about the pregnancy. While he was trying not to let his worry show.

The longer they waited in here, the more time he had to think about all the things that could go wrong. He’d been here once before, only to have his world come crashing down on top of him. If he lost Briar and the baby this time, he wouldn’t survive it.

When the ball of anxiety in his gut had turned to a lump of dread, the doctor finally arrived. A young woman in her early thirties.

“Sorry I’m late. Had to check on one of my first time mamas who just went into labor at the end of my rounds.” She smiled at them, glanced at her chart. “Got the results of your blood work,” she said cheerfully. “Everything looks good. And yes, you’re definitely pregnant. Now let’s get your vitals checked and do a quick exam.”

Matt lowered himself into the chair in the corner and watched while the doc checked Briar over, forcing his concern to the background.

“Blood pressure is perfect,” the doc said, removing the earbuds for her stethoscope and unwrapping the cuff from Briar’s upper arm. “How are you feeling? Breasts tender?”

Briar blushed and kept staring at the ceiling. “A little.”

“That’s normal. Any nausea?”

“No. I’m actually hungry all the time.”

“Well that’s a nice change of pace for me,” the doc teased, palpating Briar’s abdomen. “Fatigue is normal for the first trimester as well.”

“When’s the due date?” Matt asked.

“Your wife wasn’t exactly sure about the date of her last period, but based on the blood work and other symptoms, I think right around Christmas.”

A Christmas baby. Wow. How amazing was that? “And what about her heart?” he asked, nodding at Briar.

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