Page 32 of Fast Justice

If she were his, he would scoop her out of that chair, carry her to his bed and tuck her in close beside him. Then peel that tank top and pajama bottoms off her and make love to her until she came apart in his arms, until she was sated and drowsy with him there to hold her through the darkness.

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” he asked instead, trying his best to ignore the twin bursts of yearning and sadness the erotic image brought. She was so close, but he couldn’t have her.

“No.” She sat up a little straighter, watched him in a way that set his instincts on edge before she spoke again. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Malcolm,” she murmured.

His stomach muscles contracted as if in response to a blow. “You didn’t,” he lied, not wanting to go there.

She shot him a look that said he was full of shit and crossed her arms. “Yeah I did. But I didn’t mean to. Didn’t want to.”

She hadn’t wanted to? What the hell did she think would happen when she metaphorically slammed the door in his face that day? “It was a long time ago, don’t worry about it,” he said as he shoved to his feet. Dammit, he should have stayed in his room when he heard her get up. “Ancient history.”

“Then why are you walking away?”

That stopped him, the awareness that he was basically retreating rubbing him the wrong way.Because I was falling in love with you, and I thought you were falling for me too.No. He was sure she had been.

Christ it stung to realize just how wrong he’d been. “You should go back to bed and try to sleep,” he said without turning around. Wasn’t this a kick in the ass? Big bad former SEAL, and he didn’t have the balls to face her again.

“There’s no way I’m getting to sleep anytime soon,” she said. “Much as I appreciate you letting me stay here, I don’t want to invade your space if you’re not comfortable with it.”

It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable. Fighting not to act on his feelings, that was the real problem. “Rowan, it’s fine. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I felt that way.”

“Yes you would. That’s just who you are. You’re all about duty and honor and sacrifice.”

Malcolm heaved out a breath. It was true and he couldn’t deny it. He could never turn his back on someone he cared about. No matter what they’d done or how much they’d hurt him in the past.

He made himself turn around to face her. “I wanted you to feel safe. You told Oceane you would trust me with your life.” That had surprised him, but he’d never forget it.

She nodded, holding his gaze. “I did. I meant every word, too.”

Well, that was something. And damned if her complete trust in his ability to keep her safe didn’t hit him square in his bruised, aching heart. “Good. That’s all that’s important right now.”

“No, that’s not all that’s important. I can’t leave things like this between us.” Determination stamped her expression, but also a sadness that simultaneously made him angry and feel like an asshole.

Fine. “You really wanna do this now?” Because this had eaten at him for the better part of a year now, and he wanted to know the damn truth so he could put it behind him and move on. Or at least try to.

“Why not?”

Because you’re scared and shaken up about your brother and I don’t want to add to that?No. He wouldn’t do that to her. If they ever had this conversation, it would be when they were both less stressed. He shook his head, exasperated. “Go back to bed, Rowan.”

She stood so fast the chair legs scraped against the hardwood floor. She spun around to confront him, hands on hips. “No.”

He dragged a hand over his face, fighting for patience. The right thing would be to walk away. Give her time to settle down, hopefully get some sleep. But maybe it was kinder to have this out here and now, get it over with and out of the way. Closure, for both of them.

“Fine. You want me to talk? Then you can start by telling me why you up and walked away all of a sudden.”

She swallowed, seeming taken aback by his directness. “Because I thought it was best, and decided it was kinder to end things before we got too involved.”

Before they slept together, she meant. “So you saw us breaking up as inevitable right from the start?”

“Yes.”

Shocked, he stared at her, trying to read her, to understand. “Why the hell is that?” It better not be because she didn’t think he was good enough for her.

“Because I knew.”

No. No way. He refused to believe it. She’d been just as into him as he was into her. “What did you know?”

“That it wouldn’t last. That we were just too different.”

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