Page 33 of Fast Justice

Too different, my ass.“It wasn’t because you didn’t have feelings for me, and it wasn’t because you didn’t want me.” He stared at her, daring her to deny it.

She didn’t. And now that he was on a roll, he couldn’t stop, all the frustration and pain he’d bottled up for so long bursting free. He refused to let her hide from the truth. Refused to let her believe whatever lies she’d told herself about why they wouldn’t work.

“All you gave me was bullshit excuses about why it wasn’t good timing for you. You were new to the job, had a lot of big cases lined up, didn’t have time for a serious relationship. But you know what? Those aren’t even close to being good enough reasons to walk away from what we had. So why?” If she’d been trying to let him down easy, it hadn’t worked.

Her chin came up, the set of her jaw pure Irish stubbornness. “I told you. Because it wasn’t going to work out long term.”

He blinked at her. “Says who?”

“Me. And you’d have seen it too, if you’d thought about it.”

“No, I wouldn’t have, and you’re still feeding me bullshit, so stop.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Give me the truth. I deserve that much.”

She seemed to falter a second, that tightly controlled lawyer façade cracking a little. “We’re too different.”

Yeah, she’d said that before, and he still didn’t buy it. “Really? How?”

“Our jobs. Our backgrounds. Our goals.”

It felt like she’d just punched him in the chest. “What, I’m too blue-collar for a high-class girl like you? Is that what you’re saying? Because excuse me, princess, but you might remember your dear old dad once served in the Navy too before he made it big.” Emotion swirled through him in a chaotic haze. Anger. Confusion. Hurt.

“No,” she bit out, her eyes burning with frustration, “that’s not what I meant! Believe me, I’m extremely aware of my father’s military service. I spent my entire childhood moving from city to city every time he was assigned to a new post, and it wasn’t until he got into the JAG corps and moved us to D.C. when I was in eleventh grade that I finally had a permanent home. It seemed to me like he was gone more often than he was around.” She paused, set her jaw for a moment before continuing. “I hated that life then, and I sure as hell don’t want it for my future.”

What the hell? “Huh? I’m based out of Arlington. You wouldn’t have had to move at all if we’d stayed together.”

“I would if you got transferred someday, which is always a possibility while you’re with a government agency. And you’re gone all the time as it is. And,” she continued, holding up a hand to stop him when he would have argued, “it’s no secret that my father is a hard taskmaster. I had a good home with parents who loved me and we eventually had money once he left the Navy and his law career took off, but believe me, it came with a price.”

She drew in a breath, kept going. “I had to work harder, longer than everyone else. At everything. School, piano, ballet, chores around the house. Charity work. Why the hell do you think I’m such a workaholic? Because I like it?” She shook her head. “Only the best was ever good enough for him. Growing up, if Kevin and I weren’t out of bed by five a.m. every morning when he was home, there was hell to pay. And if we did anything that disappointed him, he withdrew his love and support until we fixed it and met his exceedingly high expectations. Kev was the smart one, he stopped giving a shit and got on living his own life when he graduated college. Me, not so much.”

Mal struggled to keep his expression calm. “I know your dad was always tough on you, and I’m sorry you grew up like that. No parent should ever do that to a child. But what’s that got to do with me? You’re saying you think I would treat you that way?” He raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“You hadn’t yet, but it’s in you. You were a SEAL, for crying out loud, and you guys take self-discipline and work ethic to a whole other level.”

“Because we have to if we want to survive,” he argued. “That doesn’t mean we’re controlling assholes when we come home. It’s nuts that you would think that. What the hell, Rowan? That’s not just unfair, it’s ridiculous.”

She broke his gaze, studying her hand as she fiddled with the edge of the table. He knew about her ex, but not the details or how the relationship had impacted her. “I also lived with a former military guy for a little while before I met you. He was Special Forces.”

He’d known she’d dated a guy, but hadn’t realized they’d been living together. “And?”

“And, things started out okay, but pretty soon he was riding me about every little thing I did wrong. Leaving a wet towel hung on the shower door, or not keeping the kitchen spotless. Not being out of bed at the crack of dawn every day or working out every morning or spending eighty hours a week at the office. Nothing was ever good enough. It was like living with my father on steroids, and when I pushed back he acted all confused, like why was I reacting that way when all he was trying to do was help me live to my ‘full potential’.”

Now Mal was just insulted. “So the dude was an abusive asshole with OCD issues. That’s not me.” He waited until she met his gaze again. “That’s not me, Rowan, and you know it. You think I give a shit if you leave wet towels all over the place? What time you get out of bed or if there are dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink? I never once did anything that would make you think I was like that. So why.Why, Rowan?”

Her eyes blazed at him. “Because you got too serious too fast!”

Chapter Eleven

The shouted outburst shocked her as much as it did him, her eyes widening slightly because she hadn’t meant to blurt that out. Yet even as she said it, the memory of the breakup played in her head.

She’d been distracted all day, thinking about him and their upcoming date that night once she got off work. Everything had gone downhill from there.

“Rowan?”

She jerked awake on her office couch to find her assistant standing over her, frowning. The ring of her phone alarm finally penetrated her awareness. “Oh, God, what time is it?” she muttered, sitting up to clear the cobwebs from her brain. She’d only meant to have a twenty-minute power nap.

“Almost one-thirty.”

Rowan gasped. “What? Nooooo…” She leapt up and bolted for her desk, scooping up the paperwork and stuffing it into her briefcase. The meeting started at one-thirty, and she was at least twenty minutes away from the location. She stopped, glanced around. “Am I forgetting something? I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

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