Page 96 of Chubs

Furniture is upside down, glasses and beer bottles scattered and broken. The room is destroyed. Lars is in his wheelchair and is parked in the far corner with Terry still standing behind it, prepared to run for safety.

My eyes finally find the kids, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Livi, with Loki and Cain’s help, has the remaining kids cornered near Gunner’s office door, safe and sound. I note the chunk of cloth in Loki’s mouth but don’t bother worrying about who it belongs to because, obviously, they got too close to the kids and paid for that mistake.

Mac and Prissy are perched on the railing of the stairs, side by side, and are surprisingly quiet. Greer, having made friends with the other pets, is laying under our table with Bart and Gee. When I feel someone tugging on my jeans, I look under the table and find Gee helping himself to a snack that’s attached to my leg.

“You still have clothes in my room if you want to go change,” Chubs says from beside me.

Looking up, I get my first look at him, and I’m shocked into silence. He’s much thinner than I’ve ever seen him. His face is drawn with dark circles under his tired eyes, and he appears to have aged several years. The red hair is a shock, and being clean-shaven isn’t something I remember ever seeing before. I stare at him until the man I remember starts to peek past the changes. When he gives me a lopsided half-smile, my heart starts to thump painfully.

Standing and pulling my eyes off of him, I nod. I take the key he holds out and walk away. I open the door and enter a room that I have only great memories of, and I take in a deep, steadying breath.

The room looks exactly the same, and his smell rushes at me. Man, leather, soap, motor oil, and because it’s Chubs’ smell, potato chips. I can’t stop the smile that creases my face, and I allow myself a moment to soak it in.

Chapter 23

Chubs

After returning to Denver, Les and I are taken to the clubhouse. Mom and Aria are waiting, and we’re allowed some time together. Other than for official club business, and only on Gunner’s orders, I’m to stay on club property. I agree, and my family makes sure to stock me up on supplies before they move to a hotel. They decided not to leave Denver until the club makes their decision about my future as a Devil’s Angel.

I know my future is uncertain, but I feel like the entire world has been lifted from my shoulders. I’m home, and other than visiting my family, I have no plans on ever leaving again. It hurts knowing that after years of not being with them, that my time with my family is going to be brief. They have lives back in Chicago, and I belong here in Denver. Hopefully, we can find ways to still spend time together.

My mom has mentioned that she’d like to find a small home to buy here so she can spend part of the year near me and the other part near Les and Aria. I’m all for that idea, and I quickly gave her Lisa’s work number in hopes she’ll help. Lisa would probably like to claw my eyes out for what I did to Lucy, but she’s not so spiteful she wouldn’t help my mom.

Since being back at the clubhouse, I’ve spent a lot of time catching up on everything that happened while I was gone. I missed out on a lot and will have to live with those regrets. Pigeon, Pooh, and Vex have all spent time with me, asking questions and trying to understand why I did what I did. The biggest hurdle for them is not getting why I wouldn’t let the club have my back. They’re club members through and through, and I went rogue according to club rules. My only hope is that they someday understand it wasn’t because I didn’t trust them or their abilities but only because I didn’t want to bring trouble in their direction.

Gunner speaks to me but is very reserved. I can’t get a read on him when it comes to what he thinks of my decisions. He’s the President, so I understand that he has to remain neutral to a certain extent.

Petey is friendly when he sees me but asks no questions and offers no advice. Trigger is pure anger on legs, but he’s decided to mostly ignore me. Cash is quiet as usual, but I can taste the disappointment in him. Axel hasn’t said more than a few words to me, and they weren’t encouraging at all. He’s angry and not hiding it, but he mostly pretends I don’t exist. Several of the others have been friendly, but not much else.

I have no idea where I sit with the club or what their decision will be in the end. Either way it goes, I’m grateful for their help in keeping my family safe, and I’ll understand and accept my fate as a Devil’s Angel.

What has surprised me is how the kids and women have reacted to me. Bella and Tessie gave me hugs but said nothing. The smaller kids are friendly, but I’m not treated as their uncle like before. That has left me heartbroken and sick.

Craig’s been one of the few who’s treated me as if I were only gone for a few days instead of many months. He’s filled me in on everything that’s happened and how Lucy was the one who finally broke down and told Rex where to find me. He made it clear that she didn’t want to rat me out but finally did out of fear of me dying. Instead of being upset with her, I found myself feeling hope that she still cared about me. Knowing Craig, that’s the only reason he told me the truth. He’s always been a little matchmaker, so I’m not surprised he is still trying to manipulate everyone.

When I first walked into the clubhouse, Ava was there. She walked slowly across the room, tears streaming down her face. I can’t even explain the pain I felt knowing I caused those tears. She’s always been so strong, has survived so much, and yet me disappearing brought her low. I’ll never be able to mend the hole that must have ripped through her.

I reached out and pulled her tight, and we hugged silently for a few minutes while my family looked on. Leaning back, I used my thumbs to wipe the tears off her face and let the pain I deserve settle in my gut. Giving her a brief kiss on the forehead, I released my best friend and waited, knowing what was coming.

Ava stared at me for a moment before slapping me hard across the face. Then, just as quickly, she pulled me in for another hug, sobbed once, then released me.

“I can’t believe I just slapped you!” she says, horrified, hands covering her mouth.

“I had it coming,” I answer with a shrug and a grin.

“Glad it was you that pissed her off,” Les mutters from beside me.

“I’ve missed you so much! I had Chasin, and you weren’t here to greet him to his new world! I didn’t have my best friend or favorite taste tester! Oh my God, Chubs, I made everyone’s life hell because of you! You deserted me without even a simple goodbye! I’m so pissed at you for being such a dumbass! I met my birth mother, and you weren’t here for me to cry on your shoulder! I’m so glad you’re home now!” Ava shouts, rambling through several topics before she hugs me again.

This time, I’m not sure she’s ever going to let go. I hold her through several more of her rambling thoughts, thinking how lucky I am to be this loved by these people. I place my hand on the back of her head and push her face into my shoulder. Holding her tight, I apologize.

“There are no words to fix this, Ava. I’m so sorry, but also, I’m not. Nobody got seriously hurt, the kids are all safe, and my family is alive and well. My plan hurt a lot of people but kept them alive too. I hope you can understand and start to forgive me.”

“Of course, I understand, Chubs! Your family is lovely, and I’m so happy you have them back in your life. I just really missed you, and I was scared to death you’d get hurt. You’re back, and I’ve already forgiven you. My emotions have been all over the place because of worry and post-natal hormones, but you’re home now,” she replies when she steps back and then gifts me with a beautiful smile.

“I’m so happy to know that my son has had people like you in his life,” my mother says quietly but with relief in her voice.

“Things haven’t been normal around here for a while now, but stick around, and you’ll see just how much your son is loved,” Ava replies, smiling softly, one mother to another. “I made food. Let’s get you fed, Chubs.”

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