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“That’s fine. Preferable actually,” Doug answered, the side of his mouth lifting just a hint. “What do you want?”

“Pizza!” Chase answered.

“Chase, I think Mr. Doug was asking me.”

Chase had the good sense to look ashamed as he apologized.

“Is pizza okay?” I asked, much to Chase’s pleasure. Pizza was a treat in our house. Not only did I not want Chase getting used to having takeout or delivery too often, but I couldn’t afford the effects on my hips and waist.

“Of course? What would you like on it?” His grin did funny things to my core. We’d only spent one night together, and until today I’d thought it might end up being our one and only, but now I could look forward to many more.

Doug's waiting for an answer.

“Pepperoni and green peppers.” I rushed out. I had to at least try to get Chase to eat a few veggies.

“Salad?” There was a glint in his eye, like he knew I hadn’t been thinking about pizza toppings.

Oh God, amI blushing?“Please.”

“I’ll pick up the pizza and meet you at your place. Need me to grab anything else?”

I didn’t.

While we waited for Doug, I arranged my bouquet in a vase and set it on the table while Chase changed out of his fudge-stained shirt.

As we ate, I reminded Chase not to talk with his mouth full as he told me how he’d called Doug to yell at him for making me cry. It was sweet how protective he was.He’ll grow up to be just like you, Phil. He’d have a lot of help getting there from his stepdad.

Did I really just think that?

Chase took all the credit for getting us back together. Doug let him have it—praising him along the way for being protective of me, for being smart enough to see we belonged together, and clever enough to plan the surprise at the ice cream shop.

Chase beamed at Doug’s praise. Watching him puff his little chest out caused my heart to fill with so much pride I thought it’d burst out of my chest, like cartoon characters when they see the love of their life.

Now that I knew my age wouldn’t ever be a problem; the fear of ‘what if he dies and leaves us’ took hold again as I thought back to the devastation of losing Phil.

A large, warm hand on my thigh brought me back the present.

What am I thinking?It’d be a crime to deny us what Doug was offering—love, companionship, and family.

Of course I’d always be scared of losing him. How could I not be? But at the end of the day we’d be better off having him in our lives, even if it didn’t last forever.

I was done standing in my own way.

It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all,and all that.I’d get to experience it twice.

I hoped it’d be a good long time before any of us had to say goodbye forever, but I refused to let the fear of loss rob us of the joy of today.

Chapter 48

Doug

Ihadn’t meant to propose to her in the same breath as telling her I loved her for the first time. In a fucking ice cream shop, no less. Sure, I’d meant to confess how I felt, quietly, privately, but I hadn’t intended on telling her I wanted to be her husband or Chase’s father.Not yet anyway.

And I sure as hell hadn’t intended on practically screaming, I’m sterile, to a room full of strangers.

In a fucking ice cream shop.

I was the guy who tried to shrink down and hide behind a monitor in high school. The guy who sat back and observed during parties. I was quiet. Reserved. Shy.

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