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What was I thinking, asking Chase to bring her someplace public?

Christ, I hope no one recorded or live streamed it. The last thing I wanted was for it to go viral. Beth and Chase had been through enough recently; they didn’t need the added notoriety that comes with going viral in a small town.

I’ll write a program and scour the internet.

I was an idiot. I’d walked into an ice cream shop carrying a gigantic bouquet of red roses, then sat staring at the door, obviously nervous—and thought no one would notice.

In a fucking ice cream shop!

Anyone who noticed probably hung around, hoping to see some big romantic proposal, like a scene from a movie. Instead, they got a six-foot-four redhead impatiently yelling about his failures as a man.

Just fucking great.

I thought I’d fucked up six ways to Sunday, but Beth thought it was romantic, like something out of her favorite rom-com. While I was thrilled she didn’t hate me for teaming up with Chase and surprising her, I didn’t love being compared to a rom-com.

I wanted to be romantic. I didn’t want to be a comedian. It wasn’t who I was. No one called me the life of the party. I liked to think of myself as calm, cool, and collected. Some called me serious, others stoic. Both suited me.

At dinner, Beth and I got to hear Chase’s telling of the day’s events on repeat. He told the story out of order, and with a few embellishments that raised my eyebrows. One thing remained the same; he was the hero in every version. I couldn’t disagree there. He called me at the office to find out why I hurt his mom,helped me plan the surprise, played his role getting her to the shop, and kept our secret. He deserved a cape.

I took a good long look at Chase while we ate, trying to imagine what he’d look like as a teenager. It wasn’t hard, having seen pictures of Phil and knowing Chase looked just him.He’ll be a good-looking kid.And with his good heart and protective instincts he’d be very popular with the ladies.

Beth and I finally had a chance to talk after dinner. She told me she didn’t think any less of me because of my limitation. I must have looked uncertain because she listed all the things that made me a man.

I did my best to control the feelings bubbling up inside but lost it when she told me I wasn’t just a good man, I was a great one. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt like one.

“That’s why I love you,” she said.

I’d been resisting the urge to kiss her all evening because Chase was glued to our sides right up until Beth put him to bed.

No reason to resist the temptation now. I reached over and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand before saying, “Thank you.” Then I wrapped my hand around her neck and gently pulled her towards me while I leaned in.

When our lips were half a breath away from touching, I paused and whispered, “I love you.” Then I kissed her, pouring every ounce of love I had for her into the kiss, claiming her as I gave myself to her.

#

The last two days had been a whirlwind. I’d kept myself extra busy at work, scouring the internet for videos of my embarrassing outburst. So far, I hadn’t found any.Thank God.

I spent today counting down the hours until I could go to Beth’s. We were having dinner together again tonight. After Chase went to bed, Beth and I would make out like teenagerson the couch, like we had every other night since getting back together. Though I hadn’t spent the night, yet.

We’d decided it was best to wait awhile before I started staying the night, wanting to take things slow, for Chase’s sake.

Last night, we finally talked about my impromptu, half-assed proposal. I told her I hadn’t actually meant to say it, at least not yet and not like that.

She understood. In the end, we decided to have a long pre-engagement. When I asked if she wanted a ring, she laughed and said, “we’re not there yet.”

What a relief. It wasn’t because I didn’t love her or want to marry her, but things were moving so fast it was making me dizzy. I was the kind of guy who needed time to think, research, and plan. I’d jumped headfirst into this relationship based on nothing but raw emotion. I didn’t have any regrets or doubts—I just needed some time to adjust.

My relief must have shown on my face because Beth asked, “Are you having second thoughts?”

“No. Not at all.” Then I confessed what I’d been thinking.

“Thanks for telling me. Now I know it’s weird for both of us to be moving so fast.” She squeezed my hand.

I’d expected the conversation to be awkward. But thankfully, we were on the same page and the conversation wasn’t just relaxed, it was fun as Beth joked about what Mary and Meg’s reactions would be.

When the visual of John dragging me into his office to interrogate me popped into my head, I burst out laughing. Then, in a move totally not like me, I acted it out for Beth.

Beth brought out parts of me I didn’t know I had. I always felt awkward and insecure, and had hidden behind a wall of aloofness.

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