Page 107 of Missing

After relaxing quietly for a few minutes, I offered to sleep on the couch. I’d considered offering to go home and come back early, before Chase woke up, but decided I didn’t want to.

“Doug, I know I’ve been hesitant to have you stay the night, but I don’t want you to sleep on the couch.”

Doesshe mean what I think she means?

“Would you prefer it if I went home?”

Please God, let her say no.

She turned and stared into my eyes, then took my hands in hers before answering, “No. I’d like you to stay. Here with me.”

I couldn’t have held back the smile splitting my face in half if my life depended on it. I squeezed her hands before pulling her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her.

“I’d like that too.” I whispered in her ear before kissing her neck. I could smell her signature floral scent and couldn’t resist nibbling on her ear.

“But only to sleep,” she said, laughing as she pulled away. “Chase won’t sleep through the night.”

“I promise to behave.” I said as I stood up. “I should run home to grab some clothes.” And my toothbrush. “Do you need me to grab anything while I’m out?”

“No,” she answered.

Thanks to Chase, Christmas Eve would be the first night I spent with Beth, in her bed.

I understood her fear about Chase walking in, and hoped she’d get over it sooner rather than later. Married couples dealt with it, so could we. It was the last hurdle to conquer before our relationship could progress to the next natural step.

Whenever I got frustrated at how slow things seemed to be going, I’d remind myself we’d only been dating three months and things were progressing at a normal pace, if not faster.

It just feels slow because I’m all in. But Beth wasn’t there yet. She loved me, there was no doubt in my mind, but she was being cautious and working through her fears about replacing Phil, both in her life and in Chase’s.

We’d talked about it a few times, and I reminded her every time I wasn’t going anywhere. I also made sure to tell her that while I wanted to be a stepdad to Chase, I had no intentions of trying to replacing Phil.

By the time I got back, Beth had put Chase’s gifts under the tree.

“Want to eat another cookie?” She asked me as she dumped out Santa’s milk.

“Sure, do you usually eat them all?”

“No, I leave one or two whole ones, and a half-eaten one.” She laughed. “Chase likes to find them in the morning.”

“Cute.” I picked up two cookies and fed one to Beth before popping one in my mouth.

I thought about the choice I’d made to stay here for the holiday while I got ready for bed in the en suite. There was no doubt in my mind I’d made the right decision. When my mom called to ask when, not if, I was coming home for the holiday, I’d almost changed my mind. Almost. They knew about Beth and Chase but were still surprised I wanted to spend my holiday here.

My relationship with my parents wasn’t great and the idea of spending a holiday with them, instead of with the woman I loved and the amazing, energetic child I wanted to adopt, was unappealing. I'd steeled my nerves and forced myself to ignore the disappointment in her voice when I told her I wasn’t coming home. I invited them to visit me in Weatherford after Christmas. They said maybe, but probably wouldn’t.

I brushed them from my mind and focused on Beth.

“Should I shut the door?” I asked as I walked towards the bed.

“Yeah, thanks.”

I sat next to her, on top of the comforter, and asked, “you’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Beth reached over, took my hand. “Come here.”

She didn’t need to tell me twice. I closed the distance, making the center of the bed sag with my weight as I leaned over and kissed her. She reached up, wrapped her hands around my neck, deepening the kiss.

My brain knew it couldn’t happen, but my body didn’t get the memo. “Beth, we should stop before I lose my self-control.”

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