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“I know, right?” Another girl said, “Wait, which one? I think they’re both hot.”

The others nodded and mumbled in agreement. They were right. Both of Mary’s sons were good looking, but Jack was the one I couldn’t stop staring at.

I could see a tattoo on his right forearm. A bald eagle with its wings spread in flight and an American flag in its beak. I told myself I wasn’t staring, as I noted the faded reds and blues of the flags, just appreciating his artwork.

I wiped down the counter and watched as Jack smiled and lifted one hand in a friendly salute to the girls. I choked back a laugh when he rolled his eyes. The two inches of counter I'd been wiping over and over, as I stared at Jack, were spotless.Look away.The bells above the door barely registered when the girls left. Jack turned towards me, shrugged and raised his eyebrows.Oh my God, he totally knows I was watching. I stepped back and cleaned the espresso machine as if the fate of the world depended on it.It’s okay, it’ll be fine, pretend nothing happened. Focus on cleaning and restocking. And for the love of God, don’t do anything else to embarrass yourself.

“It was nice meeting you, Megan.” John called out as they were leaving. It unnerved me when he used my full name. No one ever calls me Megan.I don’t think I like it.

I looked up to say goodbye and saw Jack watching me. Heat spread across my cheeks. Again. I knew they were a bright shade of red, advertising my embarrassment to anyone with eyes. Jamie pushed Jack towards the door, shaking his head and laughing. I was certain he was laughing at me.

“Nice meeting you, too.” I barely got the words out before the door closed behind them.I really hope Mary didn’t notice me making a fool of myself.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Jack as I finished my shift. He was taller than his father and brother, and he obviously worked out, a lot. Not that I noticed the way his blue polo fit snug over his chest and arms. I also didn’t notice his well-groomed stubble or how it matched his wavy, dirty blonde hair. His gorgeous amber eyes, speckled with gold, reminded me of pendants I’d seen sparkling in the windows of jewelry shops. They were impossible not to notice, so was his flirty smile.

He was just being nice. Guys like him don’t girls like you.

“Does that happen a lot?” I asked Beth. We’d only worked together for a week, but I liked her. She was always nice, and didn’t pry too much.

“What? Girls noticing Mary’s sons?” She handed me some scones for the pastry display. “Sometimes.” She laughed. “They were a little over the top. Mostly they just stare and smile, the braver ones might flirt.” She gave me some cookies. “Mary thinks it’s a hoot how much attention her boys get.”

“Do they flirt back?”

“Nah, they mostly smile and wave, like Jack did earlier.”

“They seem like nice guys.” Not that I knew them well enough to form an opinion, but it felt like the right thing to say. Besides, they were Mary’s sons, how bad could they be?

“They are. Chase adores them. He wants to be just like them, like his dad, when he grows up.” Chase was Beth Wyatt’s four-year-old son. She didn’t tell me the details, but she referred to Chase’s dad as her late husband once, so I assumed he had passed. I didn’t want to pry, so I didn’t ask her about him.

The rest of my shift was uneventful,except for the thoughts racing through my head. Sometimes I felt like I had no control over them, and I hated it.

Mary walked over as I clocked out. “Meg, before you go. John and the boys are teaching a women’s self-defense class next Wednesday and I’ve arranged the schedule Lisa can attend. You can go too, if you’re interested.”

“Thanks, how much is the class?” I hated I had to ask, but I’d only been working for a week and had a tight budget. I wanted to take another self-defense class, so hopefully I could afford it. Although, I had just made a complete fool of myself in front of them and wasn’t exactly in a rush to see them again.

“It’s free. I have an in with the lead instructor.” She whispered behind her hand like she was telling me a secret. “I think he likes me.” She laughed at her own joke.

I laughed with her. It was cute how she talked about John. Her love for him was obvious from the way her eyes lit up when she talked about him.I don’t think my parents ever loved each other.

“Thanks, that’s really nice. Can I check and let you know tomorrow?” I answered while twisting my hands in my purse straps. This was a great opportunity and I shouldn’t pass it up.I’m sure I can get through the class without embarrassing myself.

Driving home, I couldn’t help but replay the day’s events over and over, each time trying to think of ways I could’ve been less awkward. I wouldn’t be able to avoid seeing Jack, or his dad and brother, Beth said they come in all the time, but I could minimize my interactions with them at work. But there was no way I could avoid them if I took the class. I didn’t want a repeat of the train wreck I was today.I can always hide in the back of the class and hope they don’t notice me.

After I parked, I double clicked my remote, making sure I heard thebeep beepconfirming my doors locked before walking away. I barely remembered the drive home because I was obsessing over the class.

I started thinking about the day again as I made dinner. Replaying it in my mind, I built a mountain of shame out of a molehill of embarrassment. I talked to the pan of boiling water, “I could quit.” I shook my head back and forth and laughed. “Don’t be stupid. No one notices half the stuff you drive yourself crazy worrying about and they don’t give two shits about the stuff they do notice.”I should probably stop talking to myself. I didn’t want to make a habit of it and do it out in public.

I reasoned with myself as I mixed butter, milk and powdered cheese mix in the pot with the macaroni.You’re over-reacting, again.

It’d be stupid to turn down a free self defense class because I’m embarrassed.I’ll tell Mary in the morning.

I convinced myself of two things while I ate:

1. No one would remember me making a fool of myself. They had more important things to think about.

2. I would not make a fool of myself in the class.

I figured I could avoid being noticed if I hung out in the back of the classroom. Feeling better about the situation, I picked up my book and read as I finished eating.

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